Learned something about kids in public

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Learned something about kids in public
1020
Sat, 08-09-2003 - 1:22am
So, DH and I spent 6 days alone on vacation this week. I guess from recent discussions, these things kind of jumped out at me, but I learned a little something about kids in public on this vacation.

To refresh your memory, I take my kids pretty much everywhere with me. I have no issues with taking them to the doctor with me, out to nice restaurants with me, to weddings, funerals, etc. Anytime we have "dinner parties", children are included. Children are a HUGE part of our lives and we just include them in most everything.

Over the coarse of the weekend, I witnessed several things that made me think of these recent discussions here.

1) First night away, we stop for dinner in a really nice steak restaurant. We are seated next to a table of 6 people, two children and 4 adults. The kids are about 3 and 5. Thank GOD they were finishing their meals as we came into the restaurant, but the kids were HORRIBLE. The younger one got up and actually ran across the room! So, mom picks him up, saying nothing to him, and sits down, with him in her lap. All the while he is SCREAMING (as only a 3 year old can) this squealing "wanna gooooooo" "wanna gooooooo". So, mom wraps one arm around him, including his arms, so he CANNOT move, and he continues to squeal, so mom puts a hand over his mouth. the ENTIRE time, she NEVER says a WORD to him. They ALL ignored these two kids the entire time we were there, which was about 40 minutes. It is no WONDER the kids were miserable and misbehaving in the restaurant!!! It wasn't the kids, it was the ADULTS not parenting, and not paying ANY attention to the kids!

2) ONe of the mornings we were gone (don't remember which), we went to a Cracker Barral for "brunch". The restaurant was broken into three "areas" within one large room. We were in the center "area", and in the middle of eating when two boys start RUNNING through the (pretty crowded) restaurant, from their "area", around the partition separating our area from theirs, through our area, in a circular pattern. These kids were like 6 and 8! And the parents LET THEM!!! It was INSANE!

3) We were at Sea World this week, and it was HOT HOT HOT out! WE were hot, and we spent most of our time in the water and/or shade. We had taken a seat on a bench, in the shade to rest a little and eat some ice cream, and here comes a lady (about 3pm) with her 4 year old (approximately) in a stroller (fine, no problem with this), and a baby who couldn't have been even 2 months old in her arms. The babys face was RED, he was SCREAMING. The baby was obviously hot and tired, and he did NOT need to be out in that. Now, this was a kids place, but not for an infant, not in those temps. The baby was reacting to the heat the way he knew how...the mother was just an IDIOT for having him out there!

So, my point in this...I'm still working on it. ;-P

My kids have been in all kinds of public situations like these (excluding the baby in the HEAT). They behave in doctors offices and restaurants and stores, at weddings and funerals, etc because they are EXPECTED to, they have been taught to, and because we include them in whatever the "event" is.

While we were gone, my girlfriend went in to the military immunization clinic to get a tetnus (how DO you spell that) shot for her and her oldest daughter, and took all 6 kids 2 mine, 4 hers). They had to wait over 45 minutes, and all 6 kids sat quietly and never moved, because they have been taught, from day one, how to behave in public. My girlfriend had each of them take a book with them to look at/read while there, and there was no problems (never is).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can understand the frustrations people have with children in public who are just not taught to mind and/or are in a position where they are forced to act out. Even the most formal occasions can be made child-friendly by the parents/adults. But many parents don't seem to want to discipline their kids or teach their kids or deal with it. I don't understand it myself...any thoughts?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:15pm
Wow, you really get nasty when you get caught saying something stupid, don't you?

I have to say, you've revealed more of yourself in this thread than in all the time you've been posting here.

It seems, at the root of it all, is the simple fact that you aren't as important to the world as you are to you.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:18pm
<>

Yes. And you are being unreasonable to hold a grudge about it.

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It is not the case. I'm curious, was the birth of your second child no big deal?

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:19pm
LOL - I swear I didn't see this when I posted!
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:21pm
Friendship isn't about keeping score. A gift that is given in expectation of something in return isn't a gift at all.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:23pm
No one NEEDs to do anything of the sort. A wedding invitation is an invitation, not a summons.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:27pm
If someone were a good friend, they wouldn't be judging their good friends' excuses at all.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:29pm
Heck, I even let my dd choose her own daycare. She did such a good job, ds now goes there, five years later.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:31pm
Martyr? You mean like making a big deal about sacrificing so much to attend a friend's wedding? Or like the bride who was jilted by her friends, despite the fact that she had done SO MUCH for them?

Can't see declining a wedding invite as martyrdom.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:32pm
What does that have to do with anyone but you?
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:34pm
If you did it, you had the means.

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