Leaving Your Kids Overnight

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Leaving Your Kids Overnight
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 3:13pm
with relatives (or any other close person in your life). I'm really curious to see if there is a difference in SAHM vs. WOHM. This came up on one of the playgroups on here I lurk on. Someone asked what's the longest you've been away from your kids. Now, granted our babies are still rather young (17 months old) but IMO, it doesn't really make a difference. Needless to say I was shocked at the replies. The majority does not leave their kids with ANYONE overnight or more than a few hours. I got a sense from the thread that it


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 3:32pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2008
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 3:35pm

I have always been a SAHM and I let my inlaws watch my dd for the first time overnight at 3 weeks. I was sick, and 17, and she was FF, so why not. She did absolutly fine with them, and since they have moved a few hours away then take her, (now 5) for a week whenever they can. Because she is in kindergarten she goes on spring break, a week during the summer and after christmas. That works with her school schedule. I have no problem with her going to visit them, I know she is having fun and is in good hands.

But that said, I recently had a second dd, she is 14wo and I dont like to leave her with anyone if I dont have to. Part of that is because I am breastfeeding and no matter how hard I try I can't pump a bottle, and she wont take formula so no one else can feed her. I think when she is old enough to go to her nana's I will let her go, it will be hard but at the same time I think kids need to get used to being with other people. Especially my kids because the grandparents like to be very involved and take them on trips and camping and to their house. Just have to wait and see how it goes!

Lilypie First Birthday tickers  
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 3:57pm
The longest I've left the kids without DH at home is for 5 days and nights.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 4:00pm

I'm a SAHM and I've left my kids a bunch of times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 4:02pm

My DD is 21 months old and has never stayed overnight with anyone but us. I've never been away from her overnight and DH has only been away from her overnight once when she was 4 months old for two or three nights (DH had to work, so Samantha and I drove ten hours to my parents' and DH mom's house for Thanksgiving) and once for a night due to bad weather when she was about 2 months old. I worked part time and went to school full time (classes were online) until Samantha was 12 months old. Now, I work full time. DH has always worked part time.

I breastfed until she was 15 months old, which put a damper on her staying with other people. I am starting to get to the point where I would be okay with her staying with one of the grandmas. But part of it is that we haven't really had any reason to leave her somewhere overnight. At the very least, she'll stay overnight with one of the grandmas when I'm in the hospital having her little brother or sister in November.

I've never had a problem with leaving her with one of the grandmas while we go out and do something. I've only left her with someone else once and it kind of freaked me out, despite completely trusting the two friends I left her with.

I think leaving your kids is a very personal thing and not really dependent on work status. On message boards things easily seem to become a contest. (Yeah, well my kid's in college and I sleep on his dorm room floor. ;) )

baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 6:17pm
I don't think this is so much a WOH/SAH thing as it is personality and -- most significantly -- the availability of convenient, trusted people to watch the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 8:55pm

DH and I have had 2 nights together without kids since DH was born 11 years ago. We have individually been gone more. My longest has been about 5 days (trip to London to visit friend). DH's longest work trip was 22 days.Mainly it is about having someone who is willing and able to take care of the kids and not cost an arm and a leg It has nothing to do with my or DH's work status.

If I had the chance, I would go on for at least a three day weekend every year with DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2008
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 9:14pm

I work full time and NEVER leave my daughter anywhere longer than a couple of hours besides the sitters. I have to work so when I am not working I am 100% with my daughter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 9:38pm

i don't think it's a sahm or wohm thing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 10:32pm

Well I thought it would be obvious in my original post but i guess not...I was referring to having family that you trust live right next to you to where it would be convenient and they would offer however YOU refuse to do it for whatever reason. I'm not talking about having family that lives out of state or that is not competent. I mean that's kind of a given. Obviously that wouldn't work. My next door neighbor watches her granddaughter a few days a week during the day while the mother works yet she's never been allowed to keep her overnight and she's 4 years old. I think that's very odd.

Another thing, the other reason I brought this up, b/c the same SAHM's that commented in this thread (on the other iv board) also would never ever send their kids to pre-school b/c they want to be around them all the time and give them "one on one" interaction.

Edited 5/7/2008 10:35 pm ET by gl450mb