Leaving Your Kids Overnight

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Leaving Your Kids Overnight
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Wed, 05-07-2008 - 3:13pm
with relatives (or any other close person in your life). I'm really curious to see if there is a difference in SAHM vs. WOHM. This came up on one of the playgroups on here I lurk on. Someone asked what's the longest you've been away from your kids. Now, granted our babies are still rather young (17 months old) but IMO, it doesn't really make a difference. Needless to say I was shocked at the replies. The majority does not leave their kids with ANYONE overnight or more than a few hours. I got a sense from the thread that it

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 7:01pm

What is respite? Is it the mother or the daughter that goes to respite Tues and Thurs AM? Is the child in preschool?

When does Dad see her?

Otherwise, it is similar to some custody arrangements. If the mother sees her daughter after school (I assuming th school gets out around 3?) MW and every other Friday, afternoons and evenings on Tues, Thurs and all day every other Friday- plus mornings before school- I don't really see the problem in regards to "enough" time with Mum- for most children- that would be enough to establish a healthy bonded relationship. The DD is also getting to know her grandmother and Aunt- another good thing IMO - imagine the DD has three women in her life that care for her. It sounds unorthodox- but not what I would call neglect or "outsourced".

Again, where is Papa in all of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 10:12pm
I an a WOHM and have left my children overnight as the need and opportunity arises. However it is very challenging for DH and I to leave overnight together. We have 3 kids who are now 6 1/2, 4 1/2 and 15 months. Last year we went to a concert out of state with another couple. My parents were able to stay with the kids. DS #2 was 7 months at the time. We were gone less than 24 hours tho b/c of our work schedules/otehr committments. We live close to my family now (2-3 hours) but they are no longer physically able to take all 3 kids for the night. My sister has 2 little ones and a DH who doesn't do much so she can't take them on either. We might be able to manage splitting them up between my parents, sis and my best friend...which would mean we would have to drive all of them 2-3 hours one way to wherever they were staying. My IL's could probably do it for a night or 2--though it wouldn't be ideal as they are more focused on their needs than the kids. They live half way across country so it really isn't an issue.
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august 09 siggy
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:22am

No. Our kids are going to be 5 in July; and we have a soon to be 6 month old son. Our kids have spent a total of

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 1:56pm

You must be in a playgroup close to mine :)


Anyway, I'll have to come back later and read the responses but here's my thoughts for now.


DH and I have often left the kids overnight, and I think we started at a fairly young age.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 2:26pm
I don't know...I am a WOHM, and while I was OK leaving the kids for a few hours a day while I worked, I never left them overnight until they were old enough to understand what I meant by "I will be back in three days" or whatever. When I travelled for work, I always took the kids and a nanny along until they were close to school age. DH and I had our first weekend away this year -- the kids are 16 and 12.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 2:31pm

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And what if you didn't have family or friends who were willing to watch your kids for you while you went away overnight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 2:42pm

Maybe I should have clarified, but when I said "people's inability to leave the kids" I was referring to people who don't want to leave the kids overnight even thought they DO have the resources to.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 3:37pm
Ditto 100%! seriously, I thought everyone would want a break from their kids once in awhile if they had the oppurtunity. But I guess i'm definitely in the minority. DH and I didn't want to "lose" our life together just b/c we had children. I don't NEED to be with my kiddos 24/7, 365. I guess I'm just not that attached.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 3:44pm

It's personality, and your perspective.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 4:25pm
Yep! I'm like your friend. We'd have to be in serious financial trouble (like becoming homeless) for me to WOH. I'm totally fine with spending all day with my kiddos... (well most days..LOL) but having an actual night off totally rejuvenates me. And my In laws live out of state so when the kiddos are older, i'd have no problems sending them off for weeks at a time in the summer. OMG, the things I could do with that time off! ha!

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