Link to column by Joan Ryan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Link to column by Joan Ryan
85
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 1:55pm
If you ask me, Ms. Ryan gets to the heart of the matter in this column. And says eloquently, coherently and humorously what I and virgo and otbm and ecsm and many others have said all along ... There is a vast gray area between SAHM and WOHM and most of us are amalgams. We find the right balance FOR OURSELVES and if that balance gets off? We readjust.

Read and let me know what you think


http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2003/06/20/ED266254.DTL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:06pm
Nice article.

And another point she doesn't make: just because a woman answered the survey a certain way one day, it doesn't mean her status didn't change the next day.

18 months ago, I was a FT WOHM

12 months ago, I was a SAHM

Today, I'm a PT WOHM

My answers would depend on when I received the survey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:12pm
The article is excellent. Most women ebb and flow into the workforce depending on the needs of their families. Most of us have done working at home, working outside the home, part-time working and staying at home. Needs change and work status changes. We are all trying to find balance.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

Avatar for tammy_m70
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:17pm
<<>>

This is my favorite quote in the article..

Many moms work odd hours to be home with the kids during the day..Ms. Ryan hit the nail on the head with this one..

Tammy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:23pm
I guess I have a hard time finding the "gray area" between being part of the paid work force or not. Either you are or you aren't or I am missing something? The "gray area" comes with a more qualitative kind of question -- and those people who deep-down believe or suspect that you can't be a good, committed mother if you work outside the home are often those who won't admit to having a job or who have to qualify their answers with, "Well, I have a job but we don't use daycare," or something like that. This is not a question that men have trouble with. You don't find them saying, "Well, yes, I do have a job, but we don't use daycare because of it..., or "well, yes, I have a job, but it allows me to also stay home with my child four days a week" or whatever. If you ask them about their kids, they tell you. If you ask them about their jobs, they tell you what they do for a living. They're not really all that confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:32pm
I don't think the women are "confused," but WRT the article, I think the data could be misleading because there is not a clear line between what defines a "SAHM" vs a "WOHM." If I worked 12 hours from 8am-8pm one day a week, then I am part of the "paid work force" but I wouldn't know what "box" to check if I had to fill out that survey. I probably would have said "SAH."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:40pm
I don't like the article.

It may describe reality, but not my life. DH and I have to work FT until we retire. That was my expectation when I was 17 and it's my expectation now. I guess my model of work is that either you work FT, straight through, until retirement or you do something else. Call that something else WAH, PT WOH, SAH but volunteer, whatever. It's all just a gray area.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:41pm
I don't understand why you would check SAHM if you worked outside the home for 12 hours a week. The question isn't "Do you work full time outside the home or stay at home?" That is a question that many people couldn't answer one way or another without some confusion. The wquestion was: Are you part of the paid labor force or are you a SAHM?" If the question were "Are you part of the paid labor force or not?" most women could answer with no hesitation -- if they teach piano lessons on the side for five hours a week, or sell homegrown produce, or decorate cakes once in awhile for pay or work 12 hours a week over the course of one day, they know that they are part of the paid labor force. It's not hard. But if you make the choice "Are you a SAHM or part of the paid labor force, then it gets confusing -- because, I think, you are forcing people to define themselves in a way that "feels" uncomfortable, even though it's objectively true. If you work 12 hours a week, you are part of the paid labor force, no matter what you call yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:43pm
Because you're not a good mom unless you SAH!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:45pm
Is it that you truly *have* to work ft until you retire (age 62??) or that you *want* to? Just curious.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 2:47pm
No, I don't have to work to put a roof over our heads or food on the table.

I have to work in the same sense as my DH has to work.

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