Looked down upon for being SAHM/WOHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Looked down upon for being SAHM/WOHM
276
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:36pm
I was wondering what your feelings are on this. Do you feel like you are looked down upon or insulted sometimes because of your choice to stay home or work? I am currently a SAHM, have been for 2 1/2 yrs since my son was born and am currently pregnant with my second son. I have heard comments from people from they think it is honorable to they think I'm just lazy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:51pm

the only negatives that i've run into are here in this forum. oh, and i'm a 16 year veteran wohm.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:51pm
Hi!
I am a wohm and I get comments from my own mother that my kids don't listen because I do not give them enough attention when I come home from work because I am too tired. She basically smothered me 24/7 and needed to know everything I was doing and was right by my side all day long. I want my children to learn a little independence as I feel she did not teach me that. She was a GREAT mom but I don't think I am that horrible because I work.
Sometimes people say things because they are jealous. It could be from either side.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:53pm

Only negatives and insults

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:53pm
That's good as I hear things about working mothers all the time from my OWN mother!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:23pm
Unless these people are your husband, children, very close family or very close friends, why the heck do you care? Do what's right for you and your family; ignore everyone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:39pm
there is much more respect for sah/wohms irl than forums like this.


Edited 7/11/2007 5:41 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:03pm

I don't have kids yet but I did have someone make a really rude comment to me recently. I had a dinner party a few months ago and one of my guests (not a close friend) told me that the reason she chose not to go to law school was because she wanted a family. (I was in law school at the time).

I responded that I intended to pursue a legal career and have a family.

She then said in a snotty tone, "oh, well I want my kids to be raised the right way, so that wouldn't work for me."

It amazed me that someone could actually be that rude. I had visions of pouring my soup on her head or sticking my fork in her hand. Or at the very least telling her to get the h#ll outta my house! But I just said, "huh, well my mom was a professional with a busy career when I was growing up and if I can be half the mother she was, I'll be grateful."

I later found out she had taken the LSAT and done really poorly. Which made sense, because usually these kinds of rude attacks are provoked by insecurities.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:32pm

I can't believe she had the audacity not only to say that to you...but to do so in your home at a party you were hosting.

I don't think anyone's choice to stay at home or not stay at home is wrong if they are still able to be the parent they want to be and balance it.

My mouth was hanging open when I read her comment BTW....still can't get over the nerve!

You showed more restraint then the situation deserved.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 9:24pm

My feelings aren't based on what others think. I didn't sah, homeschool, wah, or woh because of what others (including my mom) thought. All of those decisions were made jointly by dh and I based on what was best for our marriage and our family at the time.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 12:48am

Haha, yeah I seriously was close to knocking her out!!

She is my bf's coworker's fiance and over the past couple of months Ive gotten to know her a little better and it turns out she is just an evil person. Lol.

Seriously, she's just one of those people who is so fundamentally insecure that she can only survive by lashing out at others. It's sad and I've limited how much we socialize with the couple because of it. Too negative for me.

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