Making the best of it all!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Making the best of it all!!!
162
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 10:29am

When I read some of the post on this board isn't the whole SAH vs. WOH all about making the best of the situation at hand?


I realized today that my life is good!!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 10:55am
ITA. As far as what society teaches it is not that I do not care. I think society is important. However, I will not go along just because. If my deviance does not hurt anyone, I will do what I feel like doing and society can go buggerlugger. People seem to impose endless misery and inanity upon themselves for the sake of what society teaches. I never understood why.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 10:58am

AMEN

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 11:43am
No medels in the end but we are judged every step of the way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 11:49am

You care more than you admit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 12:16pm

I think you are overstating the extent to which the "competition" impacts people. My DH thinks like you do and is convinced that everyone does. He sees someone with a luxury car and wants to know what is different about them that they can afford it and he can't--do they earn more, do they spend frivolously, etc. He cannot fathom that there are people who do not think like that.

On the other hand, I was not raised that way. It stuns me when people judge choices of mine that have no affect on them. If I am feeling particularly insecure, I start to question whether they are right. My DH, of course, can always put sense to it--that this is human nature to compare, contract, and make value judgments on differences in order to elevate yourself over the person who has made different choices. To me, that is foreign and I assume if someone is making such judgments, they must have a deep-rooted concern for my children. I compare what other people are doing, but I do not reach the value judgment. In my opinion, differences rarely mean that one is better than the other.

It may be human nature to compare. It is not a foregone conclusion that we act on those assessments, that those comparisons drive our decisions. I think as humans we are capable of rising above that instinct and make decisions that have a more logical and more rewarding basis. and I think for many people who were raised in a family where unconditional love was the norm, the desire to connect with other people is stronger than the desire to outdo them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 12:27pm

<>

How do you define "winning"? Do you mean winning as in PhD, six figure income, mansion on a hill, even if you hate your life? Or do you mean winning as in you feel happy and fulfilled with your life?

Renaissance Siggy

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket




Photobucket

Photobucket





Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 2:33pm
bull. I'd be happy to introduce myself as a burger flipper. maybe you've missed the 9 million posts of mine about how I take delight in tweaking the whole seriousness of parenting, careers and life living. You've never seen Liza and I break out in dance in the middle of the supermarket just because. You've never seen me turn to a total stranger in line at Starbucks and say "oh good you're here! now the singa long can start!" I could care two whits what someone thinks of my career choice or if they judge me -- honey they're gonna and that's THEIR BAGGAGE not mine. I have a life to live
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 2:36pm

I don't even notice cars. I don't care what people drive. I don't care what they do that got hem theiir car or their house or whatever. I just plain don't. It has no impact on my life why should he fact I drive a jeep and they drive a mercedes have any impact on my life?

The senior staff at the theater did a staff retreat last year and we did this excercise to see how competitive/collaborative/ etc. we were (I forget all the categories). I scored a ZERO in the competitive column . a ZERO. not one competitive point. She can believe it or not but I really don't give a damn what other people think of me.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 3:23pm

LOL, the ONLY place that dh and I have ever danced is in the A&P in the miserable burb, usually at 2AM to some particularly blighted piece of musak. We also used to locate each other in the aisles by whistling, like you might for a dog. The look you get when you are a cute blonde responding, obediently, to the whistle of your hairy, swarthy, third-worldly SO is priceless.

Another fond memory is of the time we were invited to a tres chic party at a fashionable nightclub for this smarmy society lawyer, and we showed up in matching grey flannels and worn tweed, topped with ugly scarves, because we had been out with good friends and it was cold. Of course I care about being accepted by "society," Gr8ful is right, everyone does, but I am very selective about what I consider "society."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 5:29pm
Zero? Okay, you are even less competitive than me. I do have a competitive/combative streak, but only in situations that have been identified as adversarial--sporting events, elections, certain debates. Outside of the types of situations that call for it, my attitude is far more cooperative than competitive. I cannot imagine going through life seeing everyone as an opponent or competitor. I absolutely cannot imagine going through life considering basic aspects of living (finances, etc) a competition.

Pages