Making the best of it all!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Making the best of it all!!!
162
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 10:29am

When I read some of the post on this board isn't the whole SAH vs. WOH all about making the best of the situation at hand?


I realized today that my life is good!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 3:20pm

<I think that regrets are part of life -- but its how we deal with those regrets that shapes us -- we can become bitter like your grandmother or we can face up to them and decide to try to change things or to be at peace with how things are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 4:10pm
I don't disagree really. Thinking of my grandma gives me motivation to work at not ever being in that place. Point is, I guess, that I am leary of "shoulds" of any kind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 4:56pm
My DH's grandfather talked about how glad he was to have saved the money that he was able to save so that his wife would be able to live comfortably without worrying about money.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 7:29am
I can see that, but imo it is more about caring for the person than it is money. My dh has a sizeable life insurance policy because he wants the children and I to be cared for if the unthinkable would happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 9:48am

"I can see that, but imo it is more about caring for the person than it is money."


I make that point over and over again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 9:53am

"I make that point over and over again. Money is security for me and my family - it's all about caring, it's not about expensive things or experiences. And of course regret over not having had a career is about much more than not having made money."

I second that.

The statements that suggest that working is just about money, and money is just about things, have grown tiresome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 10:16am
See to me, money and careers and family are so interwoven in most people's lives that it's impossible to divorce them and say "People don't think about their money or careers as they are dying." They may very well think about money and/or their career choice and how different choices may have had a positive and/or negative effect on their family.
baby in clothes basket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 10:26am
I haven't made those kinds of statements. I know you didn't say that I have but I wanted to be sure to point out that I don't personally feel that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 10:28am

I can see how people would be likely to think of those things in regard to how they effect their relationships. That is really the the only point

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 10:39am

My mother never was wealthy, in fact, most of her life she lived, if not day to day, sort of month by month and then year to year. Even when she retired she told me that she was really scared of living past eighty because she wouldn't be financially secure in that case. I do remember her sadness when she made out her will and realized that she would likely not have much to leave us. I told her that she'd given us so much just by being our Mom that we all had full lives and we didn't need money or "things" to complement what we already had. I hope I conveyed to her just exactly how sincere I was in that.

I watched my grandparents save and save and save and defer all their gratification until retirement. When they retired, they had like eight good years and then my grandmother had a series of strokes that eventually left her bedridden and unable to do all the travelling that she'd envisioned all the years before retirement. DH and I have adopted what we consider at via media. We saved like crazy for about a dozen years, then once we knew we were on a path toward meeting our financial goals, we began to loosen up a little. We did things like take month long trips to Europe even though our college funds for the kids weren't yet fully funded. We knew there was a small chance that we might not meet our full goals if one of us got really sick or something, but we didn't want to defer EVERYTHING, we wanted our kids to have rich, full childhoods as well as have college educations.

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