Marissa Meyer has an easy baby, is there anything wrong with that?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Marissa Meyer has an easy baby, is there anything wrong with that?
7
Fri, 11-30-2012 - 1:57pm

The reason I'm asking this is because she was criticized in this blog piece from the Huffington Post when she made the statement that having a baby was much easier than she was told it would be.  The author is upset because she feels that it makes other mothers feel bad about themselves because her baby is "easy":

And we are rooting for you. Truly. Working mothers everywhere understand that you're breaking ceilings as the first to give birth while heading a Fortune 500 company. We want you to prove that pregnancy and childbirth are not incompatible with, ya know, thought.

But we admit to mixed feelings.

Putting "baby" and "easy" in the same sentence turns you into one of those mothers we don't like very much. When you do, it makes us feel (more) inadequate; starts us wondering (again) what we are doing wrong.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/marissa-mayer-easy-baby_b_2205817.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl21%7Csec3_lnk1%26pLid%3D239633

I will admit, I had easy babies (don't shoot me)!  I get strange reactions when I tell people that my twins were the easiest of all 4 of my boys.  They slept through the night around 6-7 weeks, never had to spend an all nighter with one of them up sick.  Even with double ear infections they would sleep all night.  Even if they hadn't, I still was working full time and had to have all 3 boys into the sitter so I could be to work by 8am, showered, dressed and ready to work.  I didn't really have a choice in the matter, it was just the way it was.  I managed, wasn't always pleasant, but we got through it.  I don't feel like I'm supermom, I know I made tons of mistakes,  but we all survived. 

I have to say I agree with some of the comments that the author sounds really bitter.  Reading through the comments, the phrase "mommy martyrdom" also struck a chord with me, do you think women make it harder than it has to be for themselves?  Do we set the bar so high that anything less than perfection makes us feel like a failure?  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

I had one easy baby, one not so easy. I was the same inadequate, loving, dedicated mother to both of them. People need to stop thinking of child-rearing as a competition and just do their jobs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
I don't think easy means perfect either, The problem falls on those criticizing her... I've enjoyed every stage in my kids life and most of it has been pretty easy, steady and comfortable. If there's one thing I've learned and that I would pass on to any new mom it's to stay away from those who dig for the negative and they're out there, Lol. Stay away from those whose mantras are "just wait..." or I told you so... too. Life is too short and children grow up too fast..

 


 


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
I love your "inadequate, loving, dedicated mother" comment! I feel the same way,

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Agree - I think while parenthood definitely has its very challenging moments, it's all in how you handle it. The one thing I've learned as a parent is how to find humor in any situation, because sometimes that's what you just have to do. If you aren't paying attention, you could miss some very funny stuff with your kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I think "difficult" is when you have a child with a serious illness or disability.  I guess I'm thinking of that cause my DD is a pediatric oncology nurse and she said her new patient is 2 mos. old.  I am thankful I never had to go through something like that.  Relatively speaking, my kids were pretty easy.  One slept through the night at 6 wks, the other at 9 wks, they weren't sick that much, etc.  I do remember a lot of nights when I couldn't get them to go to sleep when I was exhausted.  I was divorced w/ 2 little kids so I don't remember that being so easy--I guess we probably had more McDonald's than we should have and I wasn't always patient, but they turned out pretty well.

I would also say that whether someone has an easy baby really doesn't depend that much on the parents--I don't know why the blog author is feeling inadequate because a lot of things are really not under our control.  I'd say Marissa just lucked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Speaking of how easy sleepers children were, I will always remember the first time my oldest DD slept through the night, She was seven weeks old and my mother had just died, My feelings and anxieties were really high and I especially worried about her and how she'd be b/c before then she woke up every couple hours and we had traveled back home to stay at dad's which she wasn't used to, Her sleeping through the night was a gift of grace from my mom and DD still calls her her guardian angel which is kind of eerie since she never "knew" her. I agree with you, musiclover about what really is difficult too, a friend of mine's DS died of brain cancer when he was 6, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for her and her whole family, Getting excited about the little things pales in comparison to that.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2012

Hard for me to believe we are having this conversation.  Rejoice and feel blessed that you  have an 'easy' baby.  Don't worry about how others respond and just enjoy your own experience with you won children and family.  The reality, in my mind of course, is that we are ALL flawed, NO ONE is perfect and our kids teach us more things about ourselves that we will ever learn from a book if we just listen to them and watch how they act in public.  Don't feel guilty for having a good baby, my daugter slept through the night from the time she was 3 mos. old and I LOVED IT!

I we compare our experiences to others we will always find someone who we think does it better, or we think, "why didn't I think of that", or why are HER KIDS so well behaved?  Mothers raise kids based on their own experiences and to answer one question, yes, we do make it harder on ourselves than we need to, because we are always comparing what we do and how we do it to others. 

I LOVE my kids, I think they are the best things since sliced bread and that they are brilliant - But, isn't that how I am supposed to think about my kids?  Who else if going to be on their side - provide them with positive self-esteem and love if not me and my husband?  Are they perfect?  Nope, but I will continue to work on their flaws right along with my own and love them through it all.

So, I say, just love them and begin by loving yourself too.  Start there, read, research, grow, learn and then just get back to the basics of loving them even more - Merry Christmas!

Johanna Cunningham

ThirtyOne Gifts Representative

916-798-4297

http://mythirtyone.com/johannaMC

Begin a NEW Career    Host a Online Party     Join My Team     Make Extra Income