Marrying beneath....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Marrying beneath....
120
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 9:40pm

My cousin will be married soon and another of my family members made a comment about her "marrying beneath" since he doesn't work and sits at home all day using the computer, tinkering with cars occasionally dabbling in message boards, with terrible grammar and spelling, I might add. my cousin is very well educated, wohft. they have a couple children together. she complains because he complains about not being able to go deer hunting if and when he chooses. what is your opinion on marrying beneath? if the male spouse doesn't work, would you call that "marrying beneath"? he's paranoid and his biggest worry in life is that someone is ripping him off.
what do you think?

Edited 7/19/2007 9:44 pm ET by missydee007




Edited 7/19/2007 9:45 pm ET by missydee007

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:14pm

she complains because he complains about not being able to go deer hunting if and when he chooses. what is your opinion on marrying beneath? if the male spouse doesn't work, would you call that "marrying beneath"? he's paranoid and his biggest worry in life is that someone is ripping him off.
what do you think?"

I think that if she feels its a good idea to marry him, then that should be good enough for everyone else.

Also, my DH doesnt work full time. I certainly havent "married beneath." LOL. He's a wonderful husband, father, and person. He's not lazy (as you seem to be saying this guy is) about things and doesnt complain about not being able to do things because he's the SAHP.

If the female spouse doesnt work is the male "marrying beneath?"

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:29pm
Yes, your Dh stays homes but thats becuase he is caring for your children. The original post in this thread states that he has two children but it doesnt appear he is caring for his kids. If thats the case, then I can see the posters point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:40pm

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Whether male or female, it depends on whether





iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:56pm

I think that it's none of my business. I'm not marrying him, your cousin is.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 11:22pm

Well my two kids are 4 in a week. They need full time supervision when they arent in preschool 3 a.m.'s a week.

I don't know how old the OP's situational kids are, but, regardless, I'm curious if the roles were reversed if people would call the wife / woman "below" the man because she didnt work?

Or what about all the women whose kids *are* in school but SAH? Are they lazy?

Personally I don't think its about being lazy, it sounds like the posters family doesnt like the guy and in that case, nothing he did would be OK. He also sounds like a bit of a loser to put it bluntly but I was more curious about the general attitude that men who don't work might be considered "below" those who do? And therefore if you marry a guy who doesnt work you are by definition marrying "down?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 5:34am
I think he needs psychiatric counseling if he is constantly paranoid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:06am
Perhaps he could forget about deer hunting and take up fishing.

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:48am
ITA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:49am
He used to fish. He caught a fish....a cold one...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 7:52am
Is he a SAHD?

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