Maternity Leave?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Maternity Leave?
66
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 11:21am

What do you think is the optimum time for both moms and babies to be on maternity leave?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 8:05am

i don't know enough about subsidized daycare, what i am for is the evidence in the study that supports long leaves mattering to bonding and attachment, these were european studies too!

 

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 8:12am

OK, and so you SAHed. As I said, I have friends in Denmark who SAH with their kids, although most of them do send the kids to daycare at age 3, much the same way that American kids typically go to preschool at that age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 9:07am

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 9:23am
i can't look at my husband objectively and determine how bonded he is or how more bonded he would have been if he took more time off work. and the study compared working moms and lengths of time off work, i don't think it would be fair if they were compared with their spouses either.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 9:51am

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 10:30am

I did not look at the study, but wonder if it is not based on what the parents report and feel. I know many American women who felt very uncomfortable separating from their babies at 4-12 weeks after the birth, whereas most of my Danish friends are ready to go back to work 6-12 months after the birth.

In Scandinavia the leave is considered something to help everyone in the family adjust, which is also why fathers are entitled to leave as well as mothers. My brother took 6 months parental leave with each of his kids, and he told me that it helped him get used to being a father and to caring for his kids in practical ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 10:39am
With our #1 DD, DH and I both WOHFT. He had no leave, I had 6 weeks. With DD #2, I had 7 weeks leave and he became a SAHD. Very different experiences, but I would never say he is more or less "bonded" (whatever that means) with one more than the other or than me. We both have very good relationships with both of our DD's, even though they are different. That has everything to do with all of our personality types, attitudes and beliefs and nothing to do with our work statuses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 10:43am
I think more American women would work when their kids were under 5 if they were able to stay home the first year and then have a real good daycare alternative when their maternity leave was up. Working with an under 12mo. is awful, imo. And I don't really think that kids truly benefit from being in a group surrounding until they are about a year old anyway. That's when they start moving around and noticing all the other little people around them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 11:31am
I think that you just hit a key factor.

"he told me that it helped him get used to being a father and to caring for his kids in practical ways."

Parenting is a life-changing event. Having time to transition, and learn the basics help parents feel more confident, and my guess, more "bonded" to their kids.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 11:37am

Yes, I agree. Having watched the process in both countries many times, it seems clear to me that the Danish way is gentler and much less stressful for everyone involved.

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