Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:04pm

Define shelter please? How many people have told you that they HS to shelter their kids? Do you even realize how many people HS?Do you think the number of people you have personally talked to on the subject is a large representative sample?

You have never met a parent who can't wait to put their kid on the bus everyday or who doesn't want to be bothered with helping their child with school work? They must not exist then. "The plural of anecdote isn't data."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 10:46pm
My FIL is also very phyically active and I believe that is what has kept him in such good health. His mother had a difficult life but she has the BEST attitude. DH's other grandmother had a much easier life, but instead of being grateful for what she has, is always griping about what she doesn't have. It is very interesting to spent time w/both of them--one is such a pleasure to be around and the other so isn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 11:10pm

How many people have told you that they HS to shelter their kids?


None because most don't look at it that way.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 5:06am
I never called anyone a religious fanatic. I said that whenever I hear about homeschooling one of the reasons is religion. The few homeschoolers I know do so for religious reasons. They are Christian and do not want to send their kids to our public schools. I do not blame them. The Christian Academys around here cost over $4000 a year per child. I would also homeschool if I had to send my kids to public school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 5:08am
No, I would normally not think that. However, in the OP it stated that she has the 3 nannies b/c she feels she *always* needs a second set of hands b/c her dh is virtually never there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 5:38am

"We" belong to an inter-generational playgroup and the young toddlers play with the seniors at a nursing home. I think the benefit is one-sided ~ the seniors love it, the kids are basically unaware of anyone beyond themselves for the 2-hour visit.

With our kids, the situation is similar because my kids' grandparents are really hands-off observers and the g-parents benefit mostly. I know lots of g-parents are NOT like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 5:42am
Are you disappointed your brother is waiting to have children because your children's cousins will be older than they are? I hope that fostering our children's relationship with their cousins will have lifelong benefits. Personally, I'm closer to the cousins who are near me in age, not 10 or more years older.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:04am
That happened in our family, somewhat - not quite to the degree of the other poster, though. DH comes from 1 of 5. The first one to get married was the middle child and she got married at 21. She tried to have kids right away but had fertility problems so didn't give birth until 28 (her dh was 30). The rest of the 4 sibilings were all older when their children were born. Not one (or spouse) was under 30, and the last couple was in their early 40's. The 3 siblings that have had kids in their 30's (us, SIL, and BIL) kids all fall within 6 years (6 kids 6 years) so it has been really nice. I've always felt like that middle child felt like she did everything right and the rest of us did it wrong. Oh well, we were the ones with the benefits, though. And all of our kids still had the grandparents very active in our lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:09am

I

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:20am

I don't think anyone on this board had 3 children so close in age. That's the difference. My children were still wobbly, fell over a bit and were getting into everything at 17 months. The thought of two 17 month-olds and an active 2 year-old would definitely inspire me to hire full-time help. And if like in the OP, my DH were not around at all, I would have definitely hired nannies for the nights and weekends. Like you, I wanted to do it all without help during their earliest years. And I did with my 3.

But without help, the OP would be a total mess, without a minute to herself. Under those circumstances, how could you not hire help, especially since it might only be for a year or two? In fact, without help, I can see one or two of the children's "needs" being neglected, diapers not changed immediately, feedings would have to wait, on a daily basis, etc. That's not living and enjoying children, it's subsisting, if that.

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