Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:23am
But wouldn't you have tried to find the money in your budget somehow for just a few years if you had children so very close in age and an absentee husband?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:35am
I really don't know why you're asking me that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:48am

I think a parent wants to shelter her children if she uses the term "peer-dependent" when discussing why she homeschools. I've never even heard of that perjorative phrase, though don't deny it may be part of common education parlance.

You say you want to avoid "peer-dependence":

You: <>

You think being influenced by one's peers is a negative and homeschool to avoid it. You hope she doesn't "succumb" to what her peers think of her. You may not be, but you sure make it sound like you are sheltering your children.

BTW, why didn't you have the confidence in your children that they would simply find the peers in public school who are like they are and who value education and being just generally good? That's the way it is in life: we befriend those we have the most in common with. I don't see why public school would be different. Certainly good kids must exist if you are sending your children to public high school. Don't you trust your kids' judgment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:50am

I have heard that as ONE of the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:52am

<>

Sounds to me like she thinks be *dependent* upon one's peers is a negative.

<>

While that may be common, it certainly doesn't apply to all kids.

<< I don't see why public school would be different. Certainly good kids must exist if you are sending your children to public high school. Don't you trust your kids' judgment?>>

How many parents have told stories of their kid falling in with the wrong crowd or a bad crowd? It happens all the time ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:53am
I thought it related to your post as in, even if she hadn't earned multi-millions or $$$ whatever, I think practically everyone here would have done something very similar to the woman in the OP if they were in the same situation with 3 children that young and an absentee husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 6:55am

That was my experience with my 3.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:04am

<>

But IMO, the parent should at least try. Enroll the child, see how it goes and then, if all fails, remove him and hs or apply to a different traditional school. In my opinion, the socialization and other benefits of traditional schools are so superior to the lack of favorable socialization in homeschooling that it's incumbent on parents to try traditional schools first. HS'ing should be a last resort.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:06am

How many parents have told stories of their kid falling in with the wrong crowd or a bad crowd? It happens all the time ...






I'm one! DH's 16yo son has gradually over this past year gravitated toward the weed smoking, school skipping, out all night, party crowd. His parents and I are in a state of shock still trying to figure out how that happened. It does happen, even with those kids you least expect it to.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:13am

In my opinion, the socialization and other benefits of traditional schools are so superior to the lack of favorable socialization in homeschooling that it's incumbent on parents to try traditional schools first.


There is no lack of favorable socialization in homeschooling.

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