Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:18am

I agree. Maybe not everyone would do it that exact same way that she is but I really can't see too many people in that situation not using the money they have to make their life easier. Isn't that a big part of what money is for? It would seem silly for someone to run themselves ragged in that situation instead of using the means they have to make life easier.

There are two common monitary prejudices, one against the very poor and one against the wealthy. None of us really know what we would do in their situations without having lived it.

I know that if money had not been an issue then I would have had hired help when my kids were younger. I don't know how much because I have never experienced a world where money was not an issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:37am

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If all of the kids are in traditional schools, and if the homeschooled children are in the extreme minority in their own and surrounding school districts, how can you argue the homeschooler can possibly recreate the daily group setting of the traditional school?

And honestly, I don't want to limit my kids' interaction during the school day to children whose parents prefer homeschooling to the public schools.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:40am

Please don't take this personally, but if a child is allowed to stay with the wrong crowd year after year, the parent is not stepping up to the plate. These things don't happen and continue to happen in a vacuum.

I bet you and your DH intervened when your son got in with the wrong crowd? Children join the wrong crowd because something is wrong with their home life. I refuse to say the parents are wholly without fault.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:46am
Talked it over with my mom and my aunt, who each had 3 or 4 little ones close in age during the fifties. They laughed out loud. My mom was single, and my aunt's dh was, as she describes it, "worse than useless". From her POV, having him around was worse than not having him around because back then it was common for dads to do zip with the kids. At least, he did zip with and for the kids. These women didn't WOH when their kids were little, but they didn't have refrigerators, dishwashers, disposals, automatic washers, or even cars. But they agreed they wouldn't have tried to WOH without someone to come in days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:50am
With my twins, even though we are together, sometimes one will be playing something fine independently and I'll focus totally on playing with the other. You don't need three nannies to give a child individual attention. Mine are 2 yrs old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:58am
I know you didn't. Some people do assume that about homeschoolers though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 7:58am

>>Chances are, he wouldn't be just the way he is if he made $7M <<
it's all a perspective thing okie......you are certainly entitled to your opinion that you would change or that you could never make 7 million but you certainly aren't in a place to judge that about others. my cousin's dh is the ceo and attorney for a big league legal office in cincinnati. they live in a million dollar home, their kids attend elite private schools. however wts, they have not *changed* into people different than what they were years before, when he didn't make the million/three or four he makes now.

like i shared before, it's not fair to make some blanket, general statement that people who make millions are different or that the sacrifices outweigh the benefits (something like that?).......what you define as some comfortable cushion or untouchable area certainly doesn't quantify others there.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:00am
My point is that sheltering isn't the goal of many homeschoolers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:04am
"shelter" was the word you used so i have to assume you know what it means and dont need a definition. i have had several hs moms tell me that one of (notice not all) the big reasons they hs is to keep thier kids away from the kids in public school who they think are bad influences. if you notice most hs people you talk to in some way mention the bad/unhealthy infuences in public schools among peers.
do i now everyone who homeschools of course not, just as you dont. are the people i know who do representative of that group - to some extent i would imagine they are, afterall, since they homeschool they are representative of at least a portion of that group.
i never said people who dont want to help with thier kids education dont exist - if you think i did please point that out to me, but i dont think you will be able to. i dont personally know anyone who sends their kids to public school so they dont have to do anything in regards to their kids education. as to putting their kids on the bus in the morning - i am one of those moms who is thrilled to put her kids on the bus each morning - because i know my kids are going to a great place, where they will have a wonderful day and learn alot of amazing things.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:07am

Link the post please. My reasons for homeschooling are many.Seeing lack of peer dependance as a plus doesn't equal sheltering my kids.

Yes, I trust my child's judgement. If I didn't, I wouldn't send her to PS. I do think kids become better at making decisions as they get older(most anyway).

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