Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:27am

I agree and as the stepmom I have butted heads on issues with regard to my stepkids...but there's only so much I can do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:35am
Define adequate socialization.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:37am
BRAVO!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:39am
It isn't adults who socialize kids. It's other kids. "Social norms" means far more than simply when you should "please" and "thank you" and moral guidelines such as not stealing. Kids need to learn how to conform to the group they will actually be living with after their parents have died of old age. The phrase "It takes a village to raise a child" is often taken to mean that it takes many adults other than parents- which is true. But a village is not just comprised of adults. The "villagers" who also raise children are other children. Fellow children do the work of socilaization. Back before public school was the norm, the kids just did this naturally without having to be grouped together artificially by adults. That's no longer possible. But the homeschooler who doesn't isolate their child from peers doesn't therefore get to do all the socialization. That's still done by whatever peers the hs child is with- as it should be. Children NEED this in order to cope with the adults (who are also currently children) that they will be with once they've grown.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:46am
No, it isn't. And that is part of the lesson too. A child with "roses and kittens" micromanaged peer interactions would be dangerously naive as an adult. Luckily for hs kids, the mere fact that their peers are also homeschooled (if in fact they are) is no guarentee that they will dish out nothing but "roses and kittens" socialization. They are just other kids, not inherently different from schoolkids just because they aren't being sent there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:51am
do i think it is bad to shelter ones kids? to shelter ones kids from life i do think is a bad thing - i am not saying that is what you are doing. nor do i think that everyone who homeschools is doing so to shelter their kids - but alot of people who hs do state that they want to keep their kids away from bad influences/situations in public schools. i guess if i were to homeschool i could come up with multiple reasons to do so i dont think that would even hit the radar screen
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:51am

I agree that the issue of peer dependance is one that still affects homeschooled kids. That is why using homeschooling as a means to shelter children is not a valid arguement as to why people

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:52am
<> Iow, a child must experience something first hand to have any knowledge of the subject. I better have my kids start experimenting with sex and drugs then just so they won't be dangerously naive on the subjects as adults.@@
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:55am
I am trying to figure out why it is so bad for a parent to want to keep their children away from bad influences. I think it is wrong of people to assume that because kids attend PS they will be bad influences, however, I as a parent should want to keep my kids away from bad influences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:57am

"Define adequate socialization"

Interaction with enough (non-related) peers to be able to interact with a cross-section of personality types and make a friend or friends. I tried to Google the subject to see if I could come up with a number that might constitute "enough" for sociologists or psychologists. However, this googling gave me only negative examples, not positive examples: case histories of people who had not had "enough" (without giving a "not enough" baseline number) because their family situations kept them isolated from peers.

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