Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 2:56pm
I'm sorry it was hard on your dd. My dd is a total social butterfly and enjoys new situations. I think it will be easy for her. It also helps that she's athletic and what most people consider beautiful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 2:58pm
I have no clue, it was your idea. I thought you were arguing that kids should be sheltered from bad influences until they are mature enough to handle it themselves?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:01pm
The subject wasn't gifted children who are homeschooled. The subject was homeschooled students in general.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:06pm
i wish her luck, but i have to say my daughter is very much the social butterfly, has been since she was small, one of those people who has never met a stranger. never had a problem with new situations, changed schools in 3rd and 5th grade without so much as a blip. while she is not overly athletic she was a cheerleader for 5 years. and like your daughter is considered quite beautiful, model type in fact. and none of that helped with the trying to break into such firmly established groups.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:09pm

Yes, many of the sources provided by proponents of hs'ing are quite biased.


True, no argument there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:09pm

Well, I used the term "soared" with regards to downtown DC. And, I hardly believe that the other counties you mentioned have had higher appreciation in the last five years then lots of downtown neighborhoods (perhaps with the exception of some areas of Montgomery County). Regardless, just because there are areas with good schools that may have higher rates of apprecation, does not negate the fact that some neighborhoods with the absolute worst schools in our country have soaring (yes, soaring in the truest sense of the word -- 100-200% appreciation in a matter of years) house prices. For example, watch what happens when the new baseball stadium goes up in Anacostia. Worst of the worst schools, yet I bet we will see an astounding increase in home prices - obviously completely unrelated to schools.

Suzanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:09pm
i guess it does depend on the school. i know at our school a teacher wouldnt even waste thier time, the child would be removed.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:11pm

To me, it means being able to very quickly read a situation and suss out a person's intentions based on cues that can be matched to past experience. Being told something by a parent doesn't qualify as experience. Even if it's told multiple times. It really takes practise to be able to read somebody else's bad intentions. And that practise starts in childhood.

I don't just tell dd "don't talk to strangers". I walk her through downtown (and have routinely since her infancy) and tell her to stop or pull her along if she makes too much eye contact with some people and say "don't talk to him" if some creepy guy says "ooohhh aren't you a pretty, pretty girl. What's your name, pretty girl?" You might say, why expose her to these people in the first place? But I want her to see by my reaction to them and my "move along" expectations for her how not to engage potentially dangerous people. Once some man actually reached over my arm on the subway to hand her a piece of candy. I slapped it out of his hand before she could take it and told her "don't take candy from strangers!".

Of course that's just one aspect of street smarts. Another aspect is knowing how to get out of a bad situation when mom isn't there to make things go a certain way. And that is something that can't be taught by me (since it's all about me not being there). It gets taught by other kids and there is a bit of school of hard knocks aspect to it. Better she learn this at 9 when some kid wants to grab at her underwear and she learns that he won't do it if she's always with her friends and he has a hard time getting her alone. That's a lesson that could save her life. It probably saved mine many times over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:12pm
when should they be dealing with it on their own? i dont know i have a 15 year old who doesnt have to deal with bad influences on her own - she has parents, teachers, grandparents, other adult figures she can rely on and her group of friends. sending kids to public school is not the same as feeding them to the wolves
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 3:14pm

I agree. We haven't spent a lot of time with them because they live in another state but at the few family functions we went to people were ooohing and awing over this kid and i could tell that dad was getting very uncomfortable because that is not what he wants for his son or the other children in his family.

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