Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:36pm
<<...her $$ or career doesn't have an effect on what rights she has a parent nor makes her an extraordinary parent.>> So right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:43pm

It's like the red herring argument people often give about selling property without a real estate agent or without an MLS listing. Of *course* it can be done, but doing it that way necessarily limits your market and carries a much higher risk of limiting your profit. Which is why a sensible home seller won't do it that way.


Part of the whole process of flipping props to me was the sales aspect as well. I like a challenge.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:50pm

LOL I agree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:53pm

i say if you can do it yourself, GO FOR IT! we considered a move not too long ago, sat down with a realtor, got all the itty bitty details and all...something close to $15,000.00 just for their fees alone. that's insane and a pot of gold for sometimes little work and effort.

i told dh just tonight that i don't want to move unless it's a job transfer back home.....we've been spoiled too much with companies moving us, paying all the costs (from realtor to closing expenses) to move us, including temporary housing and food. :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:31pm
I agree with you in theory, but sometimes the stakes increase too quickly, as in the example above involving middle schoolers and oral sex. I have a close friend who is considering homeschooling her ds, who will start middle school next year, for that reason combined with a couple of others. She is a public school principal and a strong advocate for the public school system, and her ds is one of the last kids I would ever expect to get into any trouble. But sometimes the stakes are just too high.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 11:34pm

Yep I totally agree with you. Twins at 17 months were scary! I took them all over the place on my own. I can't *imagine* doing that with a child just a few months older as well. Oye vey.

All that said...I know a couple with triplets. They had almost no help. I would have gone nuts. But...they had two part time WOH moms...so the heavy lifting wasnt done by one partner. And that would make a world of difference

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 11:37pm

"I now see the debate point related to her rock star success. It's that she's modest, by employing only 1 full time and 2 part time nannies when she could employ 10 nannies due to her wealth. Bully for her. Forgoing help that the vast majority of women do without doesn't make her "extraordinary," a "super, hands on mom" or anything other than someone living below her means."

Gosh PNJ you are really quite bitter on this subject.
I'm over it with you. Apparently this one cuts too close to home. Maybe, just maybe, if you spent more time doing things you actually loved, vs. 10,000+ posts at a job you don't seem particularly enthralled with, you'd be more positive? Just a thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 11:39pm

Are you and Pumpkin talking about the same city? I live in the one Pumpkin is speaking of, and I can tell you that for the most part, the most expensive homes in this metro area are not in it.

There are a very few exceptions in the private places of the CWE/Lindell corridor, but for the most part, homes inside the city are a minimum of 30% cheaper than comparably-constructed homes in the inner-ring suburbs. (Outer suburbs are not normally going to have comparable homes unless they used to be farmhouses that were never torn down; the majority of outer suburbs are too new for the sort of masonry, millwork and stained glass that exists in the city. The original city of St. Charles might be considered an exception, but then, it's not suburban.)

The irony of this metro area is that the very best public school district here (in an inner-ring suburb) is allowing non-residents to pay tuition to attend, because the real-estate values have climbed so much that most of the people who live there are DINKS. The only reason they can afford the place is that they don't have child-related expenses, and single-family homes are being torn down to accomodate high-rise buildings that will bring in more tax revenue. Without the tuition students they would not have enough kids to keep their schools open. (BTW, the tuition is about $12K/yr; comparable to our private independent prep schools, but they are not so strict about entrance requirements.)

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 11:42pm

Not always! My parents had me when they were 22 and 24 respectively. I only ever knew paternal grandpa. My maternal grandmother died when my mom was 16, her father died when I was 3. My paternal grandpa died when my dad was 5.

DH's grandparents, except his grandma, all died before he knew them and his parents were also young.

On the flip side, we didnt have kids till I was 34, DH 40. My parents are in amazing shape and should, with any luck, be around like my grandma till the kids are at least in their 20's.

MM

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 11:44pm
Gee cause um...that's part of the point being debated?

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