Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:13am
It is middle school here. But you didn't mention anything in your post (not others preceding it) about the level of school you were talking about. Our elementary schools don't see that either. It is the middle schools; and I think it is the RARE middle school that won't see ANY of that. If people think otherwise it is pretty naive, IMO (I'm not saying you think that, just a general comment).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:15am

More confident?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:15am
I agree with you on that, totally.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:16am
So how do you avoid exposing your dds to sex, drugs and bullying while they are having socialization experiences?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:19am

What does being beautiful have to do with the transition to public school?? Is that supposed to help her somehow? Do you think high school girls in their established cliques will suddenly befriend her because of her looks?

Or is it really important that she be popular with the boys??

I almost can't imagine a more myopic view about such an important and perhaps difficult transition in a teenager's life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:22am
And vary the routine, so you see them at different times of the day and week and in a variety of circumstances, and also get as much one on one time with each child as necessary.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:23am
True, but if you've already lost them at 12, it won't matter much. It's another facet of the debate about natural consequences. I prefer for my children to learn from the natural consequences of their actions, but there are some consequences from which I have to protect them. I also prefer for my kids to learn how to handle themselves in social situations by experiencing social situations, but there are certain things they're just too young or immature to be exposed to, and it's my responsibility to protect them. I'm not saying that I would necessarily hs a middle-schooler for the reasons discussed above, nor has my friend made her decision yet, but I might consider it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:26am
I just can't get past the fact that all of the 5th or 8th or 11th graders, whatever age you're talking about, are in fact exposed to the evils of the real world/public school and more or less emerge still fully functioning people.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:28am

I personally never experienced bullying, but did witness it in 7th grade in Catholic school.

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You seem to repeat the negatives of sex, drugs and bullying as some sort of defense mechanism whenever the debate turns toward the *benefits* of school socialization. You disagree, but that's how I see it.

I'm well aware that being among society has negatives. But your decision to keep your children out of the norm for so many years will be an obstacle as they enter public high school. Hopefully, your children will easily clear that obstacle. But it is an obstacle, and there's no way of predicting in Kindergarten how they will handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:30am
Good point; it's easy to be confident when you think you know it all. LOL on the "stewed" veggies - it boggles my mind the stuff we used to eat. Potatoes morning, noon and night! Blech!

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