Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:30am

That's not always possible at least around here, especially at the middle school level. There are certain things you can go into school for. Enrichment programs, field trips, planning teacher luncheons, manning the phones during conference time. This is in middle school - and is really very limiting; however, there are after school things that go on in the middle schools - like the basketball, baseball and soccer games that occur. You see a lot of stuff there. I remember 1 basketball game in particular - everyone was leaving and I saw this boy who had been sitting with his girlfriend in the bleachers. They were acting pretty cozy. They are walking out of the gym and he slipped his hand under the back of her shirt as they were walking out. If they are doing that in front of parents, what are they doing behind parents' backs?

That said, I am glad my kids have to deal with it now. It won't be such a shock for them when they go to high school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:39am

*shaking head*

and that is supposed to mean what exactly to jlk? that your dd has more going for her because of her looks, her athletic ability? jlk is so right about kids and transition....the older the child gets, the tougher it is to transition them to a new environment i.e. school.

i've been blessed with many moves (transitions) in my kids' early years M2F. and i know going in that *if* we ever move again, earlier would be better than later......kids looks, their personalities and interests are no substitute or guarantee for a real life school friendships which have been pretty much formed and established by h.s.

i would hope your child goes into h.s. knowing some friends there already.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:42am
gosh..yes.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:48am
I've known a few who haven't. I had a cousin who started using drugs and alcohol at an early age who was never a fully-functioning adult. At 30, he looked like he was 50. At 32 he was dead, beaten to death by some guys he was sharing an apartment with because one of them thought he was fooling around with his girlfriend. In his case, a few bad choices made when he was 11 or 12 started a downward spiral that ruined his life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:48am

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Has something changed in your beliefs?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:53am
No it's not common, at least in my 3 schools.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:55am
sure it can exist, but how the school responds is the answer. a couple of years ago we had two middle school kids try that, probably from hearing so much about it in the media, they were caught, due to the monitoring of the hallways and bathrooms, and wer both expelled from school for the remainder of the year. the punishment was swift and decisive and to my knowledge there have been no further incidences in the school. kids learn pretty quickly what they can and can not get away with. heck, my daughter and her boyfriend were given detention for holding hands in the hall. our school just does not tolerate that.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:57am

But what does it have to do with public vs private school. IME and in conversations with many people who have gone to both or either- the drug activity was if anything more at the private schools - mainly because the children had more cash in their pockets.

IME, if you want a child to have a best chance at not being into drugs or alcohol then have them be activity in at least one activity. Band, orchestra, chorus, math team, debate teams, sports, scouts........ Among the options, Band, math team, chorus and orchestra have the best outcomes in my little corner of the universe. Note: I am not saying that participation in those types of activities *eliminates* the threats- but in most schools- they are where the nerdy, goody two shoes kids hang.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:57am
if your kids are in public school you can go to the school anytime you want. i have been known to go to the library at the middle/high school and just sit and read a book for a bit and listen to what is going on.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 8:57am

My condolences.

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