Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Met a mom last week with 3 kids under 3
1350
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:59am

A 2 year old and 17 month old twins. First she accomplished *that* through two surrogates! Wonderful what modern medicine can do.
Anyway, she doesnt work full time, she consults to several companies so is out of the home one full day then a few hours a day on other days. Sometimes for work, sometimes to go to the gym, etc.
She has a full time live in nanny, and two part time nannies. Essentially they always have someone with them and the kids. She feels she needs two to properly care for her three.
I immediately thought of all the comments her lifestyle would elicit from this board.
The day she and I met she had just come from a 2 hour session at the gym, and was then heading off to go do some shopping.
BTW, she's a complete rock star in industry, having 'retired' a year ago after a 30 year career that took her right up to the top of corporate America so she's definetly *earned* her right to do whatever the heck she wants.
But anyway, she feels she is a super hands on mom. I was curious what others would think?

MM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:29pm
My college was co-ed. (Heck, so were the dorms AND the bathrooms in the dorms) but I often went to class in my PJs... LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:44pm

<<>>

Well said. The other thing I find interesting about this debate is that so many people here seem to think it's a bad idea to hs a child in order to protect him/her from certain negative influences, yet I'm confident that many of those same people chose the school districts in which they live with the very same goal in mind. Why is one just common sense and good parenting and the other sheltering, exclusivity or over-protectivness?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 5:02pm

Well, that'll teach you to never underestimate the power of the magic telescope!

(Okay, I have to say the evil grin is a little too sinister for my taste...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 5:28pm
You mean parents who home school, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 5:29pm
I should read all the way through before asking dumb questions.
Avatar for myshkamouse
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 5:37pm

I totally agree with that. I think its a false sense of security in being overly protective of kids. Yes, we should try to guide them away from "bad" influence, but, the influences will be there. To me its like keeping them away from other kids so they 'll never get sick. Yep, it stinks to have them get colds, runny noses, and worse, but its better to let them build up immunity than have them all of a sudden dumped into the public pool of germs with no immunity....

MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:10pm
I didn't think it was that gross, I just wanted to use the "queasy" emoticon.

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:33pm

bad kids dont just happen to bad parents, good parents also have kids who turn out not so good"

I agree. It also depends on your definition of "bad." My god mother was and is a wonderful mom. Her son who is 10 years younger than me, has serious mental issues. Takes meds. He's a wonderful person when he takes his meds but has done some really *bad* things when he's not on them. He was born with this condition hardwired as part of his DNA.

My best friends husband is a great guy. He describes his parents as wonderful. His brother is a drug addict and in and out of jail.

"Bad" outcomes can happen to good parents.

That said, I do think the general truth is that many, if not most "bad" kids can trace back the "bad" to lack of good parenting, or a combination of that and some really bad events that their parents didnt clue into and intervene appropriately. Or other circumstances that influenced them to become "bad."

Avatar for myshkamouse
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:34pm

That is certainly true in all the areas of the country (and world) I've lived in.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:44pm

But that's what we do here. We debate it when PT WOHMs call themselves SAHMs, and we explore the implications of definitions. Many of us think that the woman you describe in the OP is not very far along on the "hands on" side of parenting, even though she's only away from her kids for 15 hours a week."

Well that's your opinion. I personally think its more than possible to be hands on with help. She doesnt haven nannies around the clock. She has 2 at a time now as she's training one to be full time as her perm. full time nanny is getting married. This is what we did when our nanny left. We had two overlap for 2 weeks.

Anyway, I didnt realize that a mom couldnt be hands on if she has help. Go figure.

IRL, she can call herself whatever she wants. We don't have to agree with her assessment, do we?"

Of course not.

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