mommy guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
mommy guilt
76
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 3:57pm
hello!! so my dd made me feel bad today, but i cant change to do what she wants me to do...she faked a stomachache today because she wanted "to spend time with me." she claims she hardly gets to see me. i do work a lot of nights m-f and lately i

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Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:24pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:39pm

<< another phrase that I find very effective is "then you can take it up with your therapist when you're in your 20s and complaining about what

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:41pm

<< I've never understood the connection between not physically caring for your children 24/7 and feeling guilty.>>


Me either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:46pm
That's a great thought! I'm keeping that in mind! So far I just tell my kids, Life's Not Fair!!! Get used to it!!!!!
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"--Jack Nicholsen, as Colonol Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 2:47pm

I think it would be the other way around. If I have to work, but want to stay at home, I'd feel guilty-- even if I had no choice. If, on the other hand, I can choose to work or stay at home and choose to work, wouldn't I just stay at home if I felt guilty working?

ETA: I'm the type to feel guilty all the time for anything and everything anyway, so I'm probably not a good person to ask.




Edited 2/27/2009 2:48 pm ET by geschichtsgal
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 3:21pm
Excellent point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 4:18pm

I do not see how her CTSAH is making her DH a HTWOH. If she were to WOH he would still probably HTWOH.

I think the situation that you have where either parent could CTSAH is more the exception than the rule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 7:35pm

You know what would make me feel guilty?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 9:19pm
Im a working mom too. just had my second dd 6 weeks ago and come monday i have to go back to work. my older dd is 9 and thinks the world revolvs around her and she's been really acting up lately. in fact her teacher called me the other day to say she hadnt turned in homework for the 3rd time in nine weeks. my dd isnt like that and she claims its because of all thats going on with the new baby and with my working. Id love to stay home but its not possible. like someone else stated, kids are pretty selfish sometimes and someday they'll be thankful you worked as hard as you did to provide a good life for them. just take a deep breath and relax, things will be ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jhbear419
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 2:26pm
If choices are made responsibly, I don't know why any would invoke guilt.

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