mommy guilt

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jhbear419
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
mommy guilt
76
 Tue, 02-24-2009 - 3:57pm
hello!! so my dd made me feel bad today, but i cant change to do what she wants me to do...she faked a stomachache today because she wanted "to spend time with me." she claims she hardly gets to see me. i do work a lot of nights m-f and lately i

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rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 4:14am
I don't think it is a question of "have to" vs "choose to." I think it is a question of being secure in your choices, which you obviously are. It is the couldas, wouldas, oughtas that give rise to guilt. One thing I have tried to do as a parent is make decisions I can stand behind at least 95% and preferably 100%.
I believe that everyone must rejoice in his destiny, in the fact that he has lived at all and achieved a destiny. Destiny is the only sure asset. – Jørgen-Frantz Jacobs
rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 4:16am
LOL, that is a nice one. I may have to steal that.
I believe that everyone must rejoice in his destiny, in the fact that he has lived at all and achieved a destiny. Destiny is the only sure asset. – Jørgen-Frantz Jacobs
rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 4:21am
That's true, although fairly rare I think. There is a family at dd's school with 4 kids (although 2 of them are in college already). Both parents have taken early retirement and both SAH. The father is very involved in the PTA, for example.
I believe that everyone must rejoice in his destiny, in the fact that he has lived at all and achieved a destiny. Destiny is the only sure asset. – Jørgen-Frantz Jacobs
sweetheartoftherodeo
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 6:41am
well sure I mean hypothetically I could have chosen to be a rodeo clown if I'd wished...we choose what we choose for all numbers of reasons.
egd3blessed
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 8:49am

but there are big income ranges within each tax bracket.

 

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mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:22am

<wow...in my world highly educated people who marry each other don't always choose the kind of career paths that make this possible -- yet oddly enough they're still happy LOL >


We could CT have either of us, but not both of us, stay home, but neither of us is "highly" educated.

pnjsmom09
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 10:52am

"...but there are big income ranges within each tax bracket.

egd3blessed
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:49am

all (i'm trying to say) pnj is that mothers who are in CT situations are the same mothers whose later jobs aren't about the money.

 

rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:52am
Oh! I think to most people here CT jobs are quite different from the ones you describe. When I talk about CT it simply means that the family could manage without the CT salary. It in no way means or even implies that the CT job is a hobby-job or badly paid. I know that there are several CTWOHMs on this board who make far more than 40-50K a year.
I believe that everyone must rejoice in his destiny, in the fact that he has lived at all and achieved a destiny. Destiny is the only sure asset. – Jørgen-Frantz Jacobs
pnjsmom09
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
mommy guilt
 Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:14pm
But I'm a "choose to" work mom, and I'm in it partly for the money.

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