mommy guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
mommy guilt
76
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 3:57pm
hello!! so my dd made me feel bad today, but i cant change to do what she wants me to do...she faked a stomachache today because she wanted "to spend time with me." she claims she hardly gets to see me. i do work a lot of nights m-f and lately i

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:27pm

but your SOL is based on your income.

 

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:33pm


Absolutely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:42pm
Your SOL is based on your geographic location.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:59pm
Are you saying that working can not be a choice if you make more than 10K a year? That seems a dubious argument. Obviously money will buy things, but pnjsmom would probably might choose to work even if her dh's salary could cover all the things she considers essential. It need not be a question of SOL. One might choose to woh to maintain a career, because one LIKES the work, considers it important or because all that money can be banked for a rainy day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:20pm

Yes, apparently WOH is not a choice if a family chooses to rely on the second income.


I don't get this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:36pm
And that's a position I wouldn't want to be in, and I will encourage my children to work hard not to be in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:41pm

I'm a CTWOHM and I haven't done any of those jobs, nor do I fit any of your other descriptions.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:45pm
One thing I have tried to do as a parent is make decisions I can stand behind at least 95% and preferably 100%.



thats what you have to do as a parent. im secure in my choice to work-its just every so often, those couldas come in. "if i didnt have to work, i could do this with my kids...but since i have to work, i cant." like ive said before in another post, i generally dont feel guilty and its definitely not something i feel 24/7, but just every so often, i get that twinge. just like i get that twinge of "if i could work a different shift-id be home for dinner..." but thats not an option right now. just like its not an option forme to sah. i know that-i feel secure in that-but just every so often...
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 2:03pm

but i know mothers who are in CT positions who can afford a nanny,full college rides.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 2:41pm
so, my dd's teacher just called. my dd has a stomache ache again. doesnt she understand that even if shes sick, i still cant stay at home and play nurse to her? that might sound mean, but even if shes sick, i have to go to work. daddy will be here with her. and if she gets sick enough to warrent an er visit then yeah ill leave work. but if not, i cant stay home and be a nurse because she has a stomach ache. the teacher and i opted to tell her to stay in school. she only has an hour left-and i have no vehicle to go get her. so we would have to walk home. and if she has a tunny ache she definitely is not up to walking home. i will talk to her when she comes home-and if she tries to play the "guilt" card again-i wont fall for it this time. we went to the movies on sunday. we have talked about a few changes we will make so we can spend more time with her/them. were spending the whole day together saturday. we have trips to the zoo planned and other family things...so she can try to pull that guilt card, but i know better. i just hope that tomorrow morning she doesnt have another tummy ache because i do NOT want to deal with all that drama again. KIDS@@!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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