mommy guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
mommy guilt
76
Tue, 02-24-2009 - 3:57pm
hello!! so my dd made me feel bad today, but i cant change to do what she wants me to do...she faked a stomachache today because she wanted "to spend time with me." she claims she hardly gets to see me. i do work a lot of nights m-f and lately i

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Sat, 03-14-2009 - 2:20am

Dear jhbear419,


Boy do I understand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 3:56pm

Her point apparently is that I have less choice than the bon bon eating SAHMs she knows who spend their husbands' incomes on nannies even though they don't make much money or none at all.


I have no desire whatsoever to employ household help while I go play at a little non threatening job.


I think her overall point is that both the SAHM with a nanny and she herself are better off than I am. Why, I am still unsure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 3:44pm
I'm sorry to hear that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 3:42pm

Have you considered that there might be something else going on here, other than mommy guilt?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 3:12pm
Your nanny arguments always seem odd to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 2:55pm

hugs.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 2:41pm
so, my dd's teacher just called. my dd has a stomache ache again. doesnt she understand that even if shes sick, i still cant stay at home and play nurse to her? that might sound mean, but even if shes sick, i have to go to work. daddy will be here with her. and if she gets sick enough to warrent an er visit then yeah ill leave work. but if not, i cant stay home and be a nurse because she has a stomach ache. the teacher and i opted to tell her to stay in school. she only has an hour left-and i have no vehicle to go get her. so we would have to walk home. and if she has a tunny ache she definitely is not up to walking home. i will talk to her when she comes home-and if she tries to play the "guilt" card again-i wont fall for it this time. we went to the movies on sunday. we have talked about a few changes we will make so we can spend more time with her/them. were spending the whole day together saturday. we have trips to the zoo planned and other family things...so she can try to pull that guilt card, but i know better. i just hope that tomorrow morning she doesnt have another tummy ache because i do NOT want to deal with all that drama again. KIDS@@!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 2:03pm

but i know mothers who are in CT positions who can afford a nanny,full college rides.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:45pm
One thing I have tried to do as a parent is make decisions I can stand behind at least 95% and preferably 100%.



thats what you have to do as a parent. im secure in my choice to work-its just every so often, those couldas come in. "if i didnt have to work, i could do this with my kids...but since i have to work, i cant." like ive said before in another post, i generally dont feel guilty and its definitely not something i feel 24/7, but just every so often, i get that twinge. just like i get that twinge of "if i could work a different shift-id be home for dinner..." but thats not an option right now. just like its not an option forme to sah. i know that-i feel secure in that-but just every so often...
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jhbear419
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 1:41pm

I'm a CTWOHM and I haven't done any of those jobs, nor do I fit any of your other descriptions.


PumpkinAngel

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