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For moms who have been both...
| Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:33pm |
SAH and WOH
Which has proven to be more difficult?
I was reading a post below and someone stated that staying home was more difficult.
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i don't necessarily agree, i think all SAHMS have worked sometime in their lifetime, not all WOHMS have SAH.
But having the experience of working is not the same as having the experience of being a working mom.
My opinion is that neither WOHMs nor SAHMs can fully understand what each role entails unless she has been both a mother who is employed and a mother who is not employed. A SAHM won't fully understand what a full-time WOHM has to deal with just from having worked before having kids. Likewise, a full-time WOHM won't fully understand what a SAHM has to deal with just from having evening/weekend/holiday time with the kids. And none of this even takes into account differences in marital status, income level, cost of living, health issues, personality, etc, of the individual mother which can dramatically affect her experience of either work status as difficult or easy.
I guess what I'm saying is that we all need to respect that, put away the tape measures, and acknowledge that motherhood is capable of being a huge challenge no matter how you slice it.
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Yep, it's true. I know it sounds weird to people who don't live in MA, but none of my friends has ever been exclusively a SAHM. And most of my acquaintances, (those who work status I know, anyway)
I have been both a WOH mom and a SAH mom.
And so not my experience. As the saying goes--your mileage may vary.
In the interest of full closure: I'm 57 (soon to be 58). Raised 3 girls (now 32 with 3 kids; soon to be 30 with soon to be 2 kids; and soon to be 26) and now in the middle of raising our son (age 12). I've used the same dc with all my kids (at varying degrees), had family members care for them, worked ft (both woh and wah, sometimes at the same time) with some, sah/wah with others. We've homeschooled, used alternative schools, and used public schools. And the only one that expressed thanks for not being in dc (or school for that matter) at a young age was Erica. And she isn't typical.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
It is the same here, but I don't think it is really related to living in a high col area. I think it is more that we are college educated suburban professional types. We tend to work at least a few years after the first and/or second child if we sah later. Some of it is because it is easier to find high quality childcare in the early years and we can afford it. We tend to have children in the our thirties and have more flexibility in our workplace. We tend to be financially secure. We tend to marry like minded partners who will pull his/her parenting load.
(BTW, I grew up in MA :) )
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