For moms who have been both...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
For moms who have been both...
898
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:33pm

SAH and WOH


Which has proven to be more difficult?


I was reading a post below and someone stated that staying home was more difficult.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 2:27pm

i don't necessarily agree, i think all SAHMS have worked sometime in their lifetime, not all WOHMS have SAH.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 4:53pm

But having the experience of working is not the same as having the experience of being a working mom.

My opinion is that neither WOHMs nor SAHMs can fully understand what each role entails unless she has been both a mother who is employed and a mother who is not employed. A SAHM won't fully understand what a full-time WOHM has to deal with just from having worked before having kids. Likewise, a full-time WOHM won't fully understand what a SAHM has to deal with just from having evening/weekend/holiday time with the kids. And none of this even takes into account differences in marital status, income level, cost of living, health issues, personality, etc, of the individual mother which can dramatically affect her experience of either work status as difficult or easy.

I guess what I'm saying is that we all need to respect that, put away the tape measures, and acknowledge that motherhood is capable of being a huge challenge no matter how you slice it.












iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 7:02pm
I agree. Another point is that moms who have done both won't all say one or the other is easier. Some say WOH is easier, some say SAH is easier, some say neither is easier they are just different. So even though some WOH mom might not know the experience of SAH, and some SAH might not have WOH after having children (yet), when it comes to the question of which is more difficult or which is easier, "not knowing doesn't exclude ANY answer as a valid possibility for that person.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human


Photobucket



"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 8:38pm

Yep, it's true. I know it sounds weird to people who don't live in MA, but none of my friends has ever been exclusively a SAHM. And most of my acquaintances, (those who work status I know, anyway)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2009
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 12:09am

I have been both a WOH mom and a SAH mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 10:09am
Fireworks aren't just for the 4th of July!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 10:52am
Your post reminded me of something my mother said to me recently. She said to spend as much time as possible hugging, kissing, and spending time with your kids while they're babies and toddlers, because soon after that they stop wanting to be hugged, kissed and being with you all the time. It's a window of opportunity that we can take or leave.











iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:29am

And so not my experience. As the saying goes--your mileage may vary.

In the interest of full closure: I'm 57 (soon to be 58). Raised 3 girls (now 32 with 3 kids; soon to be 30 with soon to be 2 kids; and soon to be 26) and now in the middle of raising our son (age 12). I've used the same dc with all my kids (at varying degrees), had family members care for them, worked ft (both woh and wah, sometimes at the same time) with some, sah/wah with others. We've homeschooled, used alternative schools, and used public schools. And the only one that expressed thanks for not being in dc (or school for that matter) at a young age was Erica. And she isn't typical.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:30am

It is the same here, but I don't think it is really related to living in a high col area. I think it is more that we are college educated suburban professional types. We tend to work at least a few years after the first and/or second child if we sah later. Some of it is because it is easier to find high quality childcare in the early years and we can afford it. We tend to have children in the our thirties and have more flexibility in our workplace. We tend to be financially secure. We tend to marry like minded partners who will pull his/her parenting load.

(BTW, I grew up in MA :) )

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:31am
What about the Dads?

Pages