For moms who have been both...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
For moms who have been both...
898
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:33pm

SAH and WOH


Which has proven to be more difficult?


I was reading a post below and someone stated that staying home was more difficult.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 7:27pm
is it accurate to say a WOHM is familiar with SAH considering she's home at least sometime during each day IYO?



A friend of mine who SAH from her first child told me it took her a year to adjust to being at home and not working. I don't know that it took me that long, but I see her point. There's something that changes when you are always at home. It's more than what it's like to be with your kids, it's the challenge in getting a break, balancing kids with peeing and showering day after endless day, and having a different role in your relationship with your spouse, it's the giving up something to be with your kids, the having to be creative to stay connected to other adults, and other things that are different than if you are just AH on the evenings and weekends.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:11pm

Not sure what you mean by "just challenging the whole COL thing?" Do you think that there are equal proportions of SAHMs/WOHMs in high and low COL areas?


We once lived in a fairly expensive community (Southlake) in a relatively low COL state (Texas) and still found that there were more SAHMs than there are in Massachusetts. Part of the reason for this is that even if there are million dollar houses in a town or neighborhood, if the entire surrounding community is less expensive, the cost of things other than real estate

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:17pm

"We tend to marry like minded partners who will pull his/her parenting load. "


Oh, this is huge! I do think education plays a big part in how labor gets divided in a home. It would never occur to DH to think of something as "women's work," other than the biologically obvious things, like breastfeeding. And even though some of our work is divided along traditional gender lines (I do all the cooking, for example), it's because we decided things this way based on our skills and interests, not gender.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:33pm
i can't compare homeschool to traditional school.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:46pm

interesting.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:58pm
What did you think would disappear?











iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 9:03pm

i don't know how SAH compare to two WOH families geographically.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 11:09pm
to me, going from two to three probably took me all of a year to get used to,



I can see that. I had an only child for 6 years, and then in a period of 9 months I got three stepkids and had twins. I think it's just now all catching up to me, 3 years later. I must have just been in a daze before.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 9:26am
I don't think I can completely agree with this. Maybe I don't *fully* understand what SAH would be like, but I think I have a pretty darn good idea. I mean, I haven't been a waitress, but I have had a job that required similar physical requirements and people skill requirements. I think that gives me a pretty good concept of what it would be like to be a waitress. Just like I haven't been a SAH parent, but I have lots of experience being at home with my kids and have a pretty good concept of the things I would need to do on a daily basis if I were a SAH parent. I think the whole "you can't possibly understand, if you haven't done it" is a stretch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 9:55am

<< Maybe I don't *fully* understand what SAH would be like, but I think I have a pretty darn good idea.>>

And that's the point I'm making. We can have a pretty good idea, but to *fully* understand what a person is going through, you have to walk a mile in their shoes.












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