For moms who have been both...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
For moms who have been both...
898
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:33pm

SAH and WOH


Which has proven to be more difficult?


I was reading a post below and someone stated that staying home was more difficult.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:23pm
It's not a question of "what works for her." Obviously most people are doing "what works for them." I thought the question was understanding what other people's day to day life was like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:25pm
Burp, internet bug.



Edited 7/6/2010 12:25 pm ET by tryingtoquit
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:54pm

IME, I didn't have a hard time adjusting to sah, I quit 3 weeks before my oldest was born and his personality made a very easy

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:54pm

LoL...


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 12:57pm
Isn't part of empathy putting yourself into someone else's shoes? Imagining how you would react in certain situation?



Partly. But it's never possible, so it's good to recognize it's only an attempt at putting yourself in their shoes not something that was actually done. We are always looking at it through our own lenses and if we remember that, then there is less likely to be a misunderstanding.



For the purposes of this debate, it seems anytime a WOH parent says how they think something would or wouldn't be if they SAH, a SAH parent comes along and says "You have no idea what it's like to be a SAH parent."



So maybe the answer to that needs to be "Neither do you, you only know what it's like for YOU to be a SAHP, not what it's like for all SAHPs."

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 1:01pm
No. My point is that when something becomes a routine, you stop asking yourself that question. You stop even thinking about it. Like breathing. Or is that just me?



It's not just you, but my point was there was a time when that DIDN'T happen. So it doesn't always go like that. I can think of two times when it was the exception and the routine didn't override my questioning how it was I was functioning in that situation. One was what I mentioned before, WOHM and the morning routine was just so much. I couldn't forget it because I'd get to work where others would be complaining about their long commute, and I'm thinking, 'yeah but I had a long commute and had to do all that other crap, you only had to worry about yourself this morning.' The other was having preemie twins in the NICU. There was a routine to it but even after a couple months I still couldn't believe I was functioning through it. Both times I was doing something that I would rather not have been doing. With the WOH example, I really wanted to SAH so I naturally thought about that when the WOH routine was difficult.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 1:07pm
My husband is around on the weekends and usually out of town during the week. But the problem for me is that during the week is quiet, mostly me and the twins, we have our routines and handle it fine, some additional activity and chaos in the evenings but pretty predictable. The weekends is me and dh, either 5 or 6 kids plus whatever friends might be here, all day not just in the afternoon/evening, usually making a major mess, being very loud especially at nap time, or needing to be driven all over the place, dh spends a lot of time working outside or running older kids around, and sometimes has to do some work. Don't get me wrong, I love having everyone around and our big chaotic family, but I have to "gear up" for the weekend and I get to recuperate starting on Monday.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 1:11pm
For me the experience is very different going from WOHM to SAHM. I was simply describing what was different. Maybe other WOHPs struggle with those same things, but for me those are the things that are different.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 1:13pm
Rephrase, please. Your comment makes no sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 1:36pm

<>

That person would likely have an even better idea (both of what it might be like to be a full-time WOHM and what it might be like to be a full-time SAHM).












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