For moms who have been both...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
For moms who have been both...
898
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:33pm

SAH and WOH


Which has proven to be more difficult?


I was reading a post below and someone stated that staying home was more difficult.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:48pm

They have each been easy and hard in different ways.

WOH was hard because I had to balance working and mothering. Because I wanted to be at home, it made it hard to leave my dd at daycare. It was hard when she was sick, and ex and I had to decide who could miss work. It was hard to get up so early to get myself ready, then her ready, then eat, then drive to daycare, then drive to work. It was hard when work spilled over passed the normal working hours and I had to stay late, work on the weekends, or bring work home. It was hard because I'd sometimes have to race out of work to make it to daycare on time, and if there was traffic that would really stress me out. It was also easy because I was fairly decent at my job, I got fairly accustomed to the routine and to being away from her, she did pretty well in daycare at least in the short-term and because I liked the income and the lifestyle that WOH afforded me.

SAH has been easy because I had begun to hate my job and my career, because I always wanted to SAH, because there's no deadlines, no routine except the one I feel like having that day, because I don't have to make alternative arrangements when the kids are sick, I can get them to activities after school, because I love being with my not-in-school-yet kids all day, and because I have a supportive dh. It's also hard because there isn't my big 8-9 hour break five days a week (most days), because every day is the same so weekends aren't a "break" anymore either, vacations don't even feel like a break because I just pack up my laundry soap and plan to do the same thing wherever we go, because not working means no once-a-week maid anymore, because I hate cleaning, because being with two little kids all day and then 1-4 more in the evening can get overwhelming, because if I wasn't also going to school I probably would have pulled out all my hair by now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:01am

For me, WOH was easier. It was more natural. Even now with two children in school, woh would be easier for me.

Regardless of work status, the early years were harder physically and the older (mine are now 11 and 13) are harder emotionally and mentally (likely to get worse before it gets better).

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:07am

I was a SAHM for 12.5 years, back in in the work force for 14 years.

For me difficulty had more to do with my children's ages than my work status. I found the infant/toddlers years to be hard. I think that would have been the case regardless of my work status. As they aged things got easier.

It was the same when I went back to work. When I went back to work I had two in elementary school and a middle schooler. That was a lot harder than having two in college and one in high school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:46am

Which has proven to be more difficult?


IME WOH was.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 9:32am

Both are, imo, equally hard, just in different ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 11:03am

I sahed for 12 years (give or take) from the time Erica was born until she went to school for 6th grade with brief attempts at woh. For me, it wasn't the sah that was hard (except possibly financially) but the raising Erica that was hard. And woh/wah isn't hard either; it's the raising Dylan that's hard. If we had stuck with only Joy and Angela to raise, work status wouldn't have mattered. And in reality, life just is and has to be dealt with as is.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 11:58am

I think it's an individual answer that not only depends on the parent at home, but the personality of the kids....and perhaps the location of the family as well.


For me; it was a toss up.....some things were easier and some were harder, it just depended on the day and so forth.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:03pm

Wohm's can understand and know more about Sah than a Sahm would know about Woh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:08pm
I don't agree. I think that a SAHM who does a lot of volunteering (especially if it is places other that school or other child geared places) would have a glimpse of what it is like to be a WOHM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:19pm

Do you know sahm's who

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