My little taste

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
My little taste
231
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:53am

Today I am getting a little taste of what it would be like if I were to SAH rather than WOH.   I am off work and DH is working.

I am getting  the errands done that I usually do Friday evening/weekends. Really enjoyed doing my grocery shopping when the stores were fairly empty.  In a bit I am going out for lunch with DD3.

I do realize that it is just a small taste.  If I were home full time I would not be doing laundry, grocery shopping or going out for lunch every day and there are some things that I would be doing that I am not today. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 10:11am

<<Again this all comes down to things you do now that you would like to do more of when you retire or try new things. If I had more time I would be spending it with friends who I only get to see on the weekends or time when we are both free, cook more things, maybe more complex things that I don't have time for now, probably read more as I won't be as tired from working all day, volunteering, etc, etc. I could NEVER see too much time to myself as a disadvantage.>>

But you are assuming that everyone lives their lives as you do....and I think that would be rare.  I see friends during the week, I cook a lot even complex things on a regular basis, read a ton and so on and so forth.  Why is it hard to believe that some have a better balance in their lives than others?

Nope, I do not and I didn't say that EVERYONE would be interested in the things "I" would be. I have a good balance in my life right now but if you ask ANYONE what they would do if they did not work, you will get a range of different ideas and things and not many would say they would rather work. You also do not work full time, correct? You wouldn't be interested in seeing friends during the time that you DO work, maybe someone who works different hours and that you don't see as much because of that? Maybe volunteer for something that falls at the same time you work? I could go on and on and on. 


Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 10:00am

springfever2013 wrote:
<Again this all comes down to things you do now that you would like to do more of when you retire or try new things. If I had more time I would be spending it with friends who I only get to see on the weekends or time when we are both free, cook more things, maybe more complex things that I don't have time for now, probably read more as I won't be as tired from working all day, volunteering, etc, etc. I could NEVER see too much time to myself as a disadvantage.</span></span></strong></p>

I'm also not comfortable with your use of the term "time to myself".  To me, "time to myself" indicates time spent alone.  "Time to myself" isn't spending it with frends or actively doing things. "Time to myself" to me means quiet, alone time.  And I'm not good with too much quiet alone time.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 9:41am

<<Again this all comes down to things you do now that you would like to do more of when you retire or try new things. If I had more time I would be spending it with friends who I only get to see on the weekends or time when we are both free, cook more things, maybe more complex things that I don't have time for now, probably read more as I won't be as tired from working all day, volunteering, etc, etc. I could NEVER see too much time to myself as a disadvantage.>>

But you are assuming that everyone lives their lives as you do....and I think that would be rare.  I see friends during the week, I cook a lot even complex things on a regular basis, read a ton and so on and so forth.  Why is it hard to believe that some have a better balance in their lives than others?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 9:39am

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">pumpkinangel</em> wrote:</div>Why would one assume that one doesn't enjoy free time because I choose to do something with my free time that benefits my family and me at the same time?  That is an odd assumption.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:x-small"&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I think I like the term discretionary time better than free time.  Discretiionary means I can choose to do what I want with it. Free time makes it seem like I don't have anything to do.   Free time leaves me lazy and unproductive.  Discretionary time leaves me choices.     It's an odd distinction, but i makes sense to my warped brain.</p>

No, I don't think it's odd and I agree, that's a good term.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 9:16am

Having more free time for me would not be better, either. I enjoy my work and would miss it if I weren't doing it. Particularly now that my kids are neatly grown, what would I do with fre time that I would enjoy more than what I get paid to do? Sure I could stalk astronauts a little more often, but I need money to do that. Dinner with Buzz Aldrin does not come cheap or easy!

Again this all comes down to things you do now that you would like to do more of when you retire or try new things. If I had more time I would be spending it with friends who I only get to see on the weekends or time when we are both free, cook more things, maybe more complex things that I don't have time for now, probably read more as I won't be as tired from working all day, volunteering, etc, etc. I could NEVER see too much time to myself as a disadvantage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 7:05am

p>I think I like the term discretionary time better than free time.  Discretiionary means I can choose to do what I want with it. Free time makes it seem like I don't have anything to do.   Free time leaves me lazy and unproductive.  Discretionary time leaves me choices.     It's an odd distinction, but i makes sense to my warped brain.</p>[/quote]

I agree discretionary time is a better term.   There are still things that have to be done but I have more choice in when I do them. 

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 07-08-2013 - 10:06pm

pumpkinangel wrote:
Why would one assume that one doesn't enjoy free time because I choose to do something with my free time that benefits my family and me at the same time?  That is an odd assumption.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size:x-small"><span><br /></span></span></p>

I think I like the term discretionary time better than free time.  Discretiionary means I can choose to do what I want with it. Free time makes it seem like I don't have anything to do.   Free time leaves me lazy and unproductive.  Discretionary time leaves me choices.     It's an odd distinction, but i makes sense to my warped brain.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 07-08-2013 - 9:44pm

<<So you partly work because you would have a lot of free time. Am I reading this correctly? Why wouldn't you want more free time?>>

I have a lot of free time now, I would have even more as a sahm to two teenage children.  I choose to work in my free time because I greatly enjoy working.  I'm not ashamed of working, I would never hide the fact that I work, I enjoy working and it combines two great things; something I like and a benefit for my family(and me).  I don't need anymore free time at the moment, my life is balanced.    

Why would one assume that one doesn't enjoy free time because I choose to do something with my free time that benefits my family and me at the same time?  That is an odd assumption.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 07-08-2013 - 9:23pm
Having more free time for me would not be better, either. I enjoy my work and would miss it if I weren't doing it. Particularly now that my kids are neatly grown, what would I do with fre time that I would enjoy more than what I get paid to do? Sure I could stalk astronauts a little more often, but I need money to do that. Dinner with Buzz Aldrin does not come cheap or easy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Mon, 07-08-2013 - 8:35pm

So you wouldn't take the extra time to do things with friends and outside things if I am reading this correctly. You just want some extra time to de-stress. </span></strong></p><p style="font-size:13px"></p>[/quote]

No, I do not want extra time to de-stress because I get plenty of it now as a WOH empty nester.  About the only thing that would change if I were not working is I would do more volunteering, I would take on more of the household chores and I would do my chores/errands during the week days instead of evenings/weekends.  

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