A Neat and Clean House vs Children
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| Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:35am |
For those of you who like a neat and clean house, how do you keep it that way with children?
I find that if I am tied to goal of having a neat and clean house, I become a raging shrew against my children as they proceed to undo all the neatness I have worked so hard to attain. If I made a "neat and clean house" my goal, my children would not have their messy projects that take days/weeks to complete. My children would not pick up a book (casually left out)as they walk through the family room and browse through- discovering once again the mother actually knows about a few good books. I would let them watch more tv/computer time, as they don't make things as messy when they do. I would squash their ideas if I thought it would make too much of a mess. I wouldn't let them cook/experiment in the kitchen- as it is usually more work for me to clean up after they have "cleaned up". So, how do you inspire creativity and imagination in a neat and clean house? Are you on top of them to put things away as soon as they are done even if it is temporary? Where do you put the legos?....... Have you ever allowed them to take over the living room with all of their toys arranged in a city complex (thomas the train things were the Metro, legos and blocks were the buildings....)? How long would it stay up? Would let it be up for the summer so they could add to and change tings around as they got new ideas? Or allowed them to take over half of the family room for a month+ while they build and live in a beaver lodge (using all the empty shoe and other boxes and some that weren't empty)? Even if you have to walk around it everyday to get to the kitchen? Or do you require that all toys be put away everyday?

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I generally don't re-heat things, so I guess it looks like I just bought my absentee son a new microwave.
Does he have any specific food items he won't eat at all? I imagine if he did he'd have told you upfront. So if he hated salmon and wouldn't eat it, better to just tell you straight than to have you go to the trouble of buying it, cooking it and serving it only for him to then go "oh no, don't like that one, where's the PB&J?"
In my family dh is the cook. He gets a little bothered if someone doesn't like his food and goes to make something else. It's fine if he knows in advance the person just doesn't eat that, then it's not about his cooking and he doesn't even wonder about it. But he wants to make things our family will eat and enjoy, that's part of the joy of cooking for him and knowing likes/dislikes is part of that.
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
So many aspects of parenting fit into this category.
I think it's possible for such a child to grow up thinking that everyone will always do what they want .. after all, if mommy always did what thety wanted, why wouldn't everyone
Well first, because kids go out into the world at pretty young ages. Preschool, elementary school, play dates at other homes, relatives, etc. I think they learn pretty quickly that just because mommy caters in a certain way doesn't mean everyone will. But second because in this case it doesn't mean the parent is caving to exactly what the child wants always. Could be the child won't eat salmon, but will eat chicken, and what he really wants is pizza. The parent might make a piece of chicken at the same time as cooking the salmon, but say no to what the child really wants, pizza. In that case I doubt the child is going to grow up always expecting everyone to cater to him. I think it matters more that what is served is healthy, than it's the exact same food everyone else has on their plate.
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
What if they didn't have anything you liked to eat? Would you still go? Wouldn't you be slightly upset that they chose someplace that you really did not like and would not budget to accomdate you too?
Don't you find this to be similiar to how your child is not allowed to have something else if they do not like what you make as you are not going to make something else for them?
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