A Neat and Clean House vs Children
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| Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:35am |
For those of you who like a neat and clean house, how do you keep it that way with children?
I find that if I am tied to goal of having a neat and clean house, I become a raging shrew against my children as they proceed to undo all the neatness I have worked so hard to attain. If I made a "neat and clean house" my goal, my children would not have their messy projects that take days/weeks to complete. My children would not pick up a book (casually left out)as they walk through the family room and browse through- discovering once again the mother actually knows about a few good books. I would let them watch more tv/computer time, as they don't make things as messy when they do. I would squash their ideas if I thought it would make too much of a mess. I wouldn't let them cook/experiment in the kitchen- as it is usually more work for me to clean up after they have "cleaned up". So, how do you inspire creativity and imagination in a neat and clean house? Are you on top of them to put things away as soon as they are done even if it is temporary? Where do you put the legos?....... Have you ever allowed them to take over the living room with all of their toys arranged in a city complex (thomas the train things were the Metro, legos and blocks were the buildings....)? How long would it stay up? Would let it be up for the summer so they could add to and change tings around as they got new ideas? Or allowed them to take over half of the family room for a month+ while they build and live in a beaver lodge (using all the empty shoe and other boxes and some that weren't empty)? Even if you have to walk around it everyday to get to the kitchen? Or do you require that all toys be put away everyday?

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For me, it's an adaptation thing. I want my children to learn to adapt to changes, unpleasant things, choices that are somewhere way down their list of choices, with a smile and accepting attitude. I don't want them to grow up expecting people to accommodate their preferences. While I am sure that can be taught in other ways, we like to be consistent about it. Besides, if my kids thought that refusing a food would lead to a preferred food, they would refuse everything.
If I had one child with an allergy or dietary concern that was more than preference, I would try to just stick to meals they all can eat until they were old enough to grasp the concept of being unable to have a food vs. unwilling to.
No problem with being consistent or doing it one particular way at all. I'm sure many of the options out there can be considered "consistent."
Besides, if my kids thought that refusing a food would lead to a preferred food, they would refuse everything.
If a kid was refusing everything, that would definitely be a problem.
If I had one child with an allergy or dietary concern that was more than preference, I would try to just stick to meals they all can eat until they were old enough to grasp the concept of being unable to have a food vs. unwilling to.
IME a 2 yo can grasp the concept of being unable to eat something, and that it's different from being unwilling. It's pretty easy, if she doesn't want it she's unwilling, if I tell her she can't have it, she's unable.
In any case not sure what this has to do with the post you replied to, where I was comparing PB&J which doesn't need to be cooked, to chicken as a substitute which needs to be cooked. I think you are saying you do not offer an alternative so would reject either of those ways?
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I have had kids (whose parents admit to making them separate meals) come to my house, look around at what I have put out for them, and then ask me "what else can you make me?" or "do you have chicken nuggets?" "oh, we have drumsticks right there" "i don't eat chicken on the bone. can you please make me some nuggets?".
The latter conversation was witnessed by the mom. I looked at her for some help. She shrugged, looked at her husband and said "but she asked nicely". After I said no, the girl pouted for the rest of the day, and begged to leave so they could stop for nuggets. Her parents had a huge conversation in front of all of us about whether she was allowed to have birthday cake since she did not eat dinner (but it's not her fault, there was nothing here she liked). I had spent an entire morning preparing food for a party, and more than half of the party was spent dealing with a child's drama of not getting what they wanted to eat. I know it's obviously personality differences, but if my child acted that way, I would be mortified, so I tend to do what I can to prevent them from developing that expectation.
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