A Neat and Clean House vs Children

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
A Neat and Clean House vs Children
2597
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 8:35am

For those of you who like a neat and clean house, how do you keep it that way with children?

I find that if I am tied to goal of having a neat and clean house, I become a raging shrew against my children as they proceed to undo all the neatness I have worked so hard to attain. If I made a "neat and clean house" my goal, my children would not have their messy projects that take days/weeks to complete. My children would not pick up a book (casually left out)as they walk through the family room and browse through- discovering once again the mother actually knows about a few good books. I would let them watch more tv/computer time, as they don't make things as messy when they do. I would squash their ideas if I thought it would make too much of a mess. I wouldn't let them cook/experiment in the kitchen- as it is usually more work for me to clean up after they have "cleaned up". So, how do you inspire creativity and imagination in a neat and clean house? Are you on top of them to put things away as soon as they are done even if it is temporary? Where do you put the legos?....... Have you ever allowed them to take over the living room with all of their toys arranged in a city complex (thomas the train things were the Metro, legos and blocks were the buildings....)? How long would it stay up? Would let it be up for the summer so they could add to and change tings around as they got new ideas? Or allowed them to take over half of the family room for a month+ while they build and live in a beaver lodge (using all the empty shoe and other boxes and some that weren't empty)? Even if you have to walk around it everyday to get to the kitchen? Or do you require that all toys be put away everyday?

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:50am
Well no, there is a difference, but maybe I typed a bit too fast. The point is that by "salad" I meant the salad which would normally be on the table anyway. By a sandwich I meant one the kid can go make himself. If I cook a meal and the kid decides to eat only the bread or the veggie, that is fine. But I will not prepare more than one meal.

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:50am
The notion that is takes a "professional" to jump start a vehicle or change a tire is risible, but I certainly do not want to infringe on your right to be helpless in the face of minor breakdowns.



Who said it takes a professional? As in no non-professional can handle it? There's a big difference between choosing to rely on a professional due to preference or necessity in your own personal situation, and saying "it takes a professional" in general. And there is nothing "helpless" about relying on a professional. I don't cut my own hair, I am not helpless. If I go to the nail salon, I am not helpless. If I pay someone at the store a fee to assemble my child's bike, I am not helpless. If I have another caring person who wants to help me or a professional who is paid to help me change a tire, I am not helpless. I am responsible in all those cases, exercising my freedom of choice to get done what I feel needs to be done.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:53am
I agree. DD will often not eat what we're eating as a main course. It would be a lot different to me to cook something entirely different for her, than to just put some jelly and peanut butter on the table as an alternative. I also think cooking entirely different meals for kids and adults discourages the kids from learning to eat grownup food. I mean, I'm hoping that eventually DD will get tired of the PB&J and start trying more of the things DH and I eat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:54am
My grandfather did not eat Turkey. My grandmother and anyone else cooking would make something else for him, on top of the rest of the meal that he would eat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:58am
At least that is how I approach it. I had zero desire to teach dd a foreign language, for example, but I made sure she learned anyway. Ditto for a bunch of other skills along the way.



Based on her previous post, I'm wondering if the fact you utilized a professional means you are helpless?

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:58am
And it sets up their future spouse in a bad spot too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:59am
I don't know what *everyone* does in their lives but I know that it is a day to day thing for my family. I don't have a per-se *list*.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:59am
Yes, that is true. I have been farming out the teaching of what I consider to be basic life skills since te kids were toddlers and I signed them up for swim lessons.



So you can farm out teaching, but if others farm out tire changing they are helpless?

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 11:01am
I am not much for the food discussions, but even though I don't cook much I would love a double oven. Not to use them both at the same time, but I'd make one a gluten-using oven and one a gluten-free oven. That would be so cool. One day we are going to remodel the kitchen and I'm going to see if we can make that happen.

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



Photobucket

Photobucket


Photobucket
Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human


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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 11:02am
LOL, no that would only hold for the swimming, since I really can't swim. With the foreign language, I could have taught her myself, but chose to keep my sanity instead ;).

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
– George Orwell

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