Need help with this one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Need help with this one!
7
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 5:00am
Hi,

Besides being new here, I was hoping for opinions on both sides of this debate as to what you think I should do about my situation. First off, I am currently a SAHM to my 16 month old son and am 5 weeks pregnant with my second child. I want to work but can not afford child care for my son and I know I would have to take maternity leave in a few months. I don't think I want to only take off a few weeks for this child, as I haven't worked for a little over a year, just to be home with my son. I want to at least give this child the benefit of having mommy home for at least the first year of his/her life.

The first plan for me, after having my son, was to wait a year and then enroll into a community college but since I am pregnant again, it doesn't look like that will happen for awhile, if at all. My hubby has his own business but has just gotten it off the ground and income isn't stable as of just yet. So money is still a bit tight and I know if I enrolled into college, it would be impossible to afford child care for both of my children. *sigh*

Can you tell that I am so up in the air about this? I know I will have to go back to work, eventually. But I have my heart set on furthering my education as a web designer. I don't want to be stuck at a dead end job for the rest of my life because we were too poor to afford child care. You may wonder how I am able to know this without trying. Well, I have tried. Several times, infact. I have called every daycare in my area and even went so far as to trust a complete stranger with my son, when he was only two months old. I was so desperate, I didn't even think about it. Needless to say, if I ever saw that babysitter again, I'd choke her for neglecting my son and just letting him sit in his carseat, while she watched tv all day! UGH, B*TCH! The cheapest daycare in my area wanted $250.00 per week for one child! WHAT?! That would be over half my paycheck, even if I made $10.00 per hour!! OMG!!!

I have little skills, other than basic office work and my work history really hurts my chances of getting hired. When I was younger and single, I never kept a job for more than a year, if that. I was very spoiled and was never made to 'earn my keep'. My mother always gave me what I wanted, so I never had to even have a job if I didn't want to work. So when I got out on my own and got with my DH, reality kind of slapped me in the face. At first, I was working as a photographer in a department store, but got booted after they found out that I wasn't selling as much as I agreed to. After a while of going from job to job, and after having my son, DH decided that it was time for me to just be mommy and stay home with our son. I was completely okay with this, since I hated my dead end jobs and I was sick of dealing with other people. Plus, I wanted to be there for every little milestone.

Well, my views have changed and I am ready to go back. DH has agreed but the ultimate problem is still childcare! WHAT DO I DO?????? OMG, this is driving me insane! I am so sorry this was so long and you probably know more about me than you want to but I felt I needed to tell you everything, for you to give opinions on it. Thanks for reading and I anticipate your responses.

Thanks again,

Star

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:18am
Is there any chance that you could go to school or work part-time and split child care with your husband? Even if you were only taking a class or two in the evening you might feel good about taking steps toward your goal. Or how about doing some part-time volunteer work in your chosen field in exchange for mentoring from an established professional who could then write you letters of recommendation, etc?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:22am
I have only two suggestions. The first is to look into child care options at local colleges. Many colleges have on-campus child care centers, and the cost of the care can be included in a student loan. Yes, you'd eventually have to pay it back, but not until after you're done with your education and are hopefully a bit more stable financially. If you really want to go to college, don't let the cost scare you. There's so many options out there for financial aid. My second suggestion is to do some temporary work. Most cities and towns have employment agencies. Register with them for temporary secretarial or administrative jobs. You could work for a while with no long-term commitment.

Good luck!

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:42am
I agree with the other posters. Your best bet is to goto college or for vocational training part time at night. You need to gain a skill so you can get a career which pays decent. By the time, you finish and are ready to enter the workforce, your children will be older and you will only need after school care.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:45am
Have you checked into financial aid? You may qualify for help with child care as well.

At this point, I'd say try and further your education. Like it or not, a prerequisite for working is being able to make sure your kids are cared for. If you can't afford dc, you have a problem. I'd say work on furthering your education towards the day you can afford to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:45am
Have you considered employment through a larger corp/company that offers tuition reimbursement? Our local hospital offers this, even if you just hire in as secretarial or nurses aide positions - and I have a good friend who completed a program like this for an industrial type workplace, hired in as an office grunt and is now on her way to becoming asst. manager of an office...

Good Luck :)

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 3:47pm
Could you wait to further your education until your kids are in school? You could probably schedule your classes for the times when they are in school thus not needing childcare. Also-childcare for school aged kids is much less than childcare for preschoolers.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 5:00pm
I completely understand...I am expecting my second child in November and I have been up and down about quitting my job and staying home... I have only been in this office for a year, but I cannot afford day care for more than one child. I might bring home $100 a month!!! I have decided to help out by watching just 1 or 2 children at my house on a daily basis. In actuality I will be getting ahead. I have also looked into classes in the evening... If you check out financial aid you would be truely surprised. As far as a sitter in that matter, your husband could help out! Also, are there any friends or family available to help??? If so, that would give them time to bond with your children!! Also, you can still make it through the fall semester! Trust me in due time...everything works out!! don't freak...life is too good!!! Build up your support system...it is good for you and the children!!! Good Luck!!!