Need Opinions...SAHM or Work

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Need Opinions...SAHM or Work
585
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 12:36pm

Hello

This is my first post to this board. I have been lucking for quite a while. I am currently a SAHM during the week, I work weekends. I am contemplating going back to work fulltime and am very anxious about putting my four year old in daycare. I have tried it twice and failed. I cannot stop worrying about him. The first time I tried to put him in a moms morning out program he had to be taken from the car by force and it ripped my heart out. I spent the entire 4 hours feeling guilty about leaving him. This continued for two months before I just couldn't take it anymore. He is my achilles heal. He is very attached to me because he and I spend a Great deal of time together watching Noggin, Nick and PBS while coloring and playing. I had a very hard time during my pregnancy and during his birth. I love being with him but I also want to get back into the workforce. I know that if I go back to work that I will miss my time with him. I will be working 50 hours per week if I go back fulltime instead of the 20-25 weekend only hours I work now.

What do I do??? Please give me your opinions. Please tell me how you cope with returning to work after being a SAHM for five years. Is going back to work the right thing to do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:18pm

For the third time, how much time does your DH get on weekday mornings with the children?


For the second time, I never said having a nanny and dual WOHPs means "equal" time for each parent with the children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:38pm

Aren't you now an Evil Working Mom?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:45pm
Oh, yeah!

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:46pm

It depends on the level of militancy.


She could be evil because she is leaving her sweet, innocent babies with their father! The horror. Children need Mommies not Daddies. Dads are only there to earn money.


She could still be a SAHM because the majority of time is with her kids and they are not in daycare.


Now, to be truly evil, she would need to be the main wage earner of her family and have a nanny. It is the epitome of evilness, you know.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:48pm

"Now, to be truly evil, she would need to be the main wage earner of her family and have a nanny. It is the epitome of evilness, you know"


Oh man. And here I was hoping to avoid hell at all costs...oh well.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:49pm

For fun, I'd really like my DH to come on board and debate with one of those more militants, since he's in the position to SAH if he so chose (though admittedly we'd have to be on a painfully tight budget).


It would be hillarious because ultimately when it comes down to it, the whole thing is *very* sexist.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 12:50pm
Well, I'm a bit disappointed.

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 1:00pm
Well, I'm could possibly become an evil working mom, a lot of people applied for this job so I don't know if I'll get it yet. It has a little bit of lifting, so I may not get it because I'm petite. (I could complain, discrimination!! LOL) Nevermind that I can lift 50 lbs easily.... Oh well, there's a cash counting job at the casino I'm thinking about too. We'll see. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 1:06pm

Can you please show me where I said my DH spends MORE time with his children than any other poster here?

The opposite has been said by both PNJ and Laura - that they see their children MORE than my DH sees his own children.

And yet both PNJ and Laura are *now* finally asking me for his actual working hours!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 1:10pm
What does it matter now? You've already resolved that the dual wohp plus Nanny combo is a relationship which hands-down is much more conducive to the father spending more time with his children. I guess it's best to make erroneous conclusions first, then ask for details later. I find it funny that both you and Laura have done the same thing. A truly novel approach to debate!

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