Need Opinions...SAHM or Work

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Need Opinions...SAHM or Work
585
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 12:36pm

Hello

This is my first post to this board. I have been lucking for quite a while. I am currently a SAHM during the week, I work weekends. I am contemplating going back to work fulltime and am very anxious about putting my four year old in daycare. I have tried it twice and failed. I cannot stop worrying about him. The first time I tried to put him in a moms morning out program he had to be taken from the car by force and it ripped my heart out. I spent the entire 4 hours feeling guilty about leaving him. This continued for two months before I just couldn't take it anymore. He is my achilles heal. He is very attached to me because he and I spend a Great deal of time together watching Noggin, Nick and PBS while coloring and playing. I had a very hard time during my pregnancy and during his birth. I love being with him but I also want to get back into the workforce. I know that if I go back to work that I will miss my time with him. I will be working 50 hours per week if I go back fulltime instead of the 20-25 weekend only hours I work now.

What do I do??? Please give me your opinions. Please tell me how you cope with returning to work after being a SAHM for five years. Is going back to work the right thing to do?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:29pm
dont assume I had no carrer as i did I stayed home by choice...when children were in school I worked to as a teacher , and a girl scout leader tiger cubs and soccer so dont make harsh judgements of things you know nothing of...your youth shows....... point is I was always there with my children ..they were my priority always!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:34pm
Nature demonstrates in all life that the mother nurtures while the dad protects and provides......RTell your self what you must I still stand firm in my belief and dear its due to an increase in knowledge not just a cycle thatthese women are staying home....talk to them
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:44pm

Her *youth* is showing? What a nice compliment. I'm sure Lauren will be tickled to hear it.

And please...if anyone's been making assumptions around here it's been you.

I'm off to pout now...nobody EVER tells me MY youth is showing anymore...... :-(


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:52pm

W-------------------------
first i never stated that other family were not important or part of a childs upbringing that my dear you assumed....If you consider someone you have to pay a extended family member so be it ...I find that sad personally.
________________________________________________________________________________________
By the way, I'm curious as to why Dad shouldn't be caretaker? Why not have both parents equally involved?

I agree they should just think of the benefits that too would posses, but sadly that is also the minority.

------------------------------
If it makes no difference why is there such a trend of young women staying home to raise their children?
--------------------------------
1. Because a lot of them CAN I would not say allot I would say they sacrifice and make life style changes to be able to do this.
2. I disagree... I have found it to be the mostly college Grads.
3. Because their husbands are supportive
4. Because they do not listen to media sensationalism and allow their maternal instincts to guide them not society.

-----------------------------------
Yes these are the children who were raised by others and they are determined to be there that speaks volumes.....
-----------------------------------
You were fortunate, everyone has hind sight, we agree to disagree as I do feel it is necessary and thatto have a SAHM/F in order to allow a child to obtain their greatest potential.

i have pleanty of hindsight at this stage of life and I assure you that I will never feel or wish I did it differently when it comes to my children.....i work now make excellent money and am able to do all the things I gave up for my children at this stage of life...and it did not hurt me to do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:54pm
Youth??? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! SHE AIN'T YOUNG!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:59pm

What? You think being a WOHM precludes them from attending their children's college graduation?..... (No I do not I was responding to a statement someone else had made...)

Sounds as though you had the experiance of must children ...I am not against women who work I just believe that it is in the childs best interest to have their parents vs a paid caretaker.

I appreciate your openess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 7:02pm

Jeez, Beth...I was so much NICER about it than you were. ;-)

You can always spot sisters, can't you?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 7:04pm

LOL... actually noone minded I was very involved.....I drove 8 hours every other weekend to NC where they went I was known as mom to all I knew they enjoyed me as I did them I assisted with events on parent committee adn sport function and guess what so did many other moms and dads....

being involved and putting ones child first is not a sin as they are gone before you know it and then you have plenty of time to reflect on what you might have done differently....sorry that not what I wanted in my old age....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 7:04pm
The only "evidence" you have shown is that you do not regret your choice to SAH. It should be obvious to you, in your great wisdom of being an advanced age, that different things are better for different people. We are not all alike. Have you noticed a distinct difference in children who were in daycare vs. children who were not? I highly doubt it. Teachers can't, doctors can't, researchers can't, I can't, so I would find it hard to believe that you can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 7:06pm
now I understand

Pages