Nervous to stay home?
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|Fri, 06-08-2007 - 12:46pm|
My first child (DS) was born 12/28/2005. DH and I weren't quite in a financial position for me to stay home, so after 16 weeks off I went back to work FT. The plan was that we would get ourselves in a better financial position and I would stay home after number two. Well, #2 is coming sooner than we thought -- due 8/30/3007. I'm thrilled, but suddenly very scared about making this decision.
It should be an easy decision -- work is very stressful. They've decided to give someone (who I have to help hire) my current job permanently and will be giving me a "leadership development role" when I return. HOWEVER, they have no idea what that job will be or when they will be able to tell me -- most likely not until I am already on leave. I've been a very hard-working, dedicated employee for 12 years and I'm not pleased. They keep saying this SHOULD be a good thing, but to say my company is horrible about developing careers is a gross understatment.
I'm pretty well-educated -- bachelor's in engineering and an MBA. I don't mind giving that up, but I'm suddenly very afraid that I will not be a good SAH mom. I know there will be times I'm bored, but I just don't have the confidence that I can be good at it and am afraid that the best way for me to contribute to my family is financially. I love my DS to death and will do as well with the new baby. I really don't want someone else to raise them, but I just don't know if I'm the best person. While DH comprehends my fears, he doesn't understand because he thinks I would do really well SAH.
Did anyone else deal with these feelings of self-doubt and how did you resolve or come to peace with them?