New to board w/issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
New to board w/issue
44
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 10:55am

Hello everyone,


I just discovered this board and I'm glad I did. I'm a new mom to a 3 months old girl and I have loved every minute with her since she was born. I lost my job when I was 10 months pregnant. (was w/a finance company) I don't like the idea of returning to work at all but I have no choice. I live in a state where unemployment is higher than the national average so

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 11:28am

10 months pregnant?


I handled my emotions because I knew my child was being well cared for and I enjoyed what I was doing, it was a win-win situation for us all.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 11:46am
Pregnancy is actually 10 months, not 9 months, if that is what she actually meant.
Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 12:05pm

Sort of.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 12:10pm

3 months postpartum is a difficult time to get emotions under control. I can remember sobbing when I dropped my first at daycare, but she's 14 now and I look back and realize that moment was all about me and little about what was exactly best for my family as she was happy as a clam in daycare. I wanted to walk into my job and quit at the time, but, instead I decided to work out a balance that made me happy while keeping my hand in a job that also made me happy. My dh also wanted to play an active role as a parent in our family, so we shared the financial burden just about equally. He was able to take a year LOA with our 3rd child, while I worked fulltime.

So, what your feeling now will pass, and your baby will grow and thrive as long as she's well-cared for, emotionally and physically secure, and loved. You and your dh can do that either working ft or staying home ft.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 12:21pm
Sorry, I meant 8 months pregnant. It was
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 12:52pm

"How do you working moms handle these emotions? I'm trying to brace myself for this change. I have discussed SAH w/ my husband but it isn't feasible financially. "

Emotions are illogical and they frequently lie. Get as much information as possible. Knowledge is power and goes a long way to counteract those emotions. Decide on what job/career you want to do. Look at dc. Do you want a center or a family home environment for your dd. Can your new career support an in home nanny? Or do you know of another family that you can nanny share with? And then when you are overwhelmed with those emotions while at work, remind yourself that they are only emotions. You made the best decision you can for your entire family. Unless you find yourself with one of the few children that don't thrive in dc, who are actually harmed by dc, (I had one. I also had a child who not only thrived in dc but wanted to go on the weekends) your child will only be enriched by dc in ways that she couldn't be with a sahp. And having 2 incomes will relive stress for both of you which in turn will only help your relationship as a couple and family. If you really want to sah, do you have the skills to wah instead of woh? Keeping in mind that you probably still have to send your dd to dc while you wah.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 12:58pm

I'm having similar anxiety about going to work full time and having to leave my babies in daycare. I think as long as you find someplace that you like (someplace safe, loving, and fun for baby), then both you and baby will adjust to it much more quickly than we expect. Another thing is that at 3 months, baby hasn't developed separation anxiety yet, so it will be a smoother transition compared to if she were 10 months old. By the time she is aware that you aren't there, she will already be familiar with her daycare providers and be comfortable with them, so stranger anxiety won't be an issue.

We won't necessarily like it, but we'll be okay.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 1:07pm

No, that would be incorrect unless you are speaking about a lunar calendar.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 1:15pm

I like to think of pregnancy as 40+ weeks that feel like a mere 9876155 .....


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 1:25pm

You'll be so busy you won't have time to stop and contemplate how hard it is to leave her-- oh wait that's me ;)

I also have a 3 month old baby, and I just returned to work a couple weeks ago after being off for 12 weeks. The anticipation was much worse than the reality. I think finding someone who you can completely and totally trust at that age is really important. And once you get in to routine it gets easier.

baby in clothes basket

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