Not a debate...more a request for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Not a debate...more a request for advice
17
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 8:26am
Does anyone have any good advice for a working mom on making a "break" from work at the end of the day and on weekends, so I don't always feel like a working mom. A lot of the time I do that well...but sometimes I feel that thinking about work can interfere with home life.

Also, does anyone ever feel that their job **is** their life and that somehow their home life is the **extra** on top of work.

BTW, I don't work very long hours, or travel...but I've been promoted recently and I'm finding that my job is demanding more from me...

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 8:43am
Sorry about the hat, I can't log out or in right now ... something about too many accessing that area, lol. Wonder what that's all about, ey? People joining or bailing out, lol?

I debate myself over this issue all the time. I wah. I try to leave my job behind, but it's in my face everywhere I look, even when I close the door to the playroom. Bottles in the kitchen, diapering stuff in our bathroom, playyard out back full of climbing stuff. Oh man ... thank bob I love my job. I think that might be a clue for you. When we love what we do, is that so bad to think about it all the time?

I hate to do weekend child care, afterall I've been at it for close to 60 hours in five consecutive days ... well my sil(works every other weekend) was stuck, so who does she call to watch my 1yo niece? Yep, me. But now that my own two daughters are proficient in babysitting, they took the responsibility for her care. Thank bob cuz I came down with the flu.

Linda

  Linda ...    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 8:49am
At least for me, it helps to spend a little time at the end of the day, getting ready for the start of the next day. In the last half hour before I leave, I try to clear off my desk, get my to-do list ready for the next day, and set up whatever I'll need first thing the next morning. It helps to not have something undone hanging over me all night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 1:43am
Some suggestions.

Leave work at work. Absolutely do not bring work home unless it's a dire emergency that occurs at most, once a month. If every night is an emergency, you have to fix it at work. Ask for help. Granted, I have no idea what you do, this may not be feasible. But I think the break has to be physical. Don't bring it home, and don't think about it as soon as you walk out the door.

You need decompression time. Get in to da hot tub! Or whatever. I commute on the express bus, so that's my down time. I listen to news radio and get back to back war coverage. Groooovy. Hey, at least I'm not thinking about work.

Make plans for the weekend. Do not let yourself vege during the weekend. Do not let yourself just run around ragged doing errands. ASK FOR HELP. Find a something you can do. I decided I was going to run a 5K. Um, the last time I ran was 15 years ago, but it gave me a mission. I ran a 5K in 34:14 (okay, so I'm bragging). Let your kids watch you cross the finish! Yay mom! Just try to find time for fun things. I think I'm going to do ballet next. Don't laugh.

If you have the kind of job that's really demanding, then structure the time you think about it during non-work hours. Say, I'm going to think about it for the next 20 minutes and then do it. And then stop and go take care of yourself. Don't let it rule your life.

My job used to be my life and it was very upsetting. So I changed things at work so I wasn't working all of the time. My nights and weekends are mine and my family's. It's a matter of time management and supportive supervisors. I mostly suck at time management, but I got lucky with the supervisors. But it is doable. You just have to structure and commit to sticking to it and for gawd's sake stay off the debate boards! ;o)

I call my baby girl Kat.

Welcome to the new board.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 4:26am
Do you tend to put things off until the weekend? I used to feel like I worked all the time until I realized that I was taking an all or nothing attitude towards my home life. Since I didn't have all day during the week, I put things off until the weekend which made it feel like I had 5 days of work and two days at home during the week when what I really have is 5 partial days at home and 2 full days at home and 5 partial days a work. The majority of the time we're home occurs on week days not on weekends for most of us. If you tend to live for the weekends, you cut yourself short on time.

Here are a few suggestions. Change out of your work clothes as soon as you get home. Do something fun every day. Don't put off housework until the weekend because then your weekend is shot. Make sure you take time every day for yourself. Buy a crock pot and use it for dinners. It takes only a few minutes in the morning to get it going and you come home from work to dinner waiting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 11:11am
Do you ever worry about burning the house down with the crockpot on all day? I'd love to do that but I think I have a bit of OCD when it comes to appliances, I have to unplug everything. How many hours would you say you leave the pot on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 11:25am
I can't leave a crockpot on,either if I am gone ALL day.My dh finally got me coffee pot that automatically shuts off because I would get all ansty whenever we were out of the house for a long time.I can't leave the dryer on when I leave the house ,either. Ia m great fun to live with,LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 11:54am
Oh Gawd. I do the same thing. The dryer. Fuhgeddaboutit. I have visions of the lint screen catching on fire. I hear you on the coffee maker thing. I have a crappy one you get free from Gevalia if you order coffee, so I had to hook it up to one of those timer dealy-ohs so I'd stop stressing about whether I remembered to shut it off or not. It's a sickness I tell you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 12:18pm
I've been around my mother WAY too long to trust an appliance at home without me.LOL My mom is a freak about these things...all small appliances must be unplugged when not in use, to prevent spontaneous combustion (please note: this is her idea, not mine!) The microwave is somehow exempt...I think because it has a clock. Coffee makers left plugged in are just a disaster waiting to happen. A toaster oven plugged in? Why not just light a match and throw it in the floor? :-P

I'm not as bad as she is, but I do have a healthy respect for appliances and their potential for havoc. I don't leave the washer, dryer or dishwasher on while I'm not home, and I'm a compulsive lint-trap cleaner. I guess no matter how hard it tries, the apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree.LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 12:32pm
LOL here! I don't have a crockpot, but I remember my mother using hers all the time, and nobody was home to watch it. (I think that was sort of the point???) And she always started the dishwasher on way out of the house -- I remember HER mother giving her he%% for that.

DH got me a coffee pot that automatically turns off, after I accidently left the old one turned on when we were away for a whole weekend. No, the house didn't burn down. The glass carafe didn't even crack!

That's just my family, a bunch of crazy risk-takers. Tempting fate, that's our game.

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 3:04pm
No, lol. I don't set it next to anything flamable. It doesn't get hot enough to start a fire. It would have to short and then the circuit breakers should trip.

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