OK This scares me......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
OK This scares me......
66
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:02pm

I have four kids. I worked full time for a year after my oldest was born and had horrible day care problems. My oldest daughter had constant ear infections, etc. etc. I quit after my son was born the following year and started working part time at night and then my husband stayed with the kids at night. After my third one was born, I quit my job and was a full time SAHM for 7 years. I started working part time again about two years ago and work maybe 15 hours a week.

This is what scares me. My oldest daughter was complaining about school to my FIL. Then he told her she needed to work hard at school to get a job when she is older. This is what she says in reply, "I'm not gonna have a job when I'm older. I'm gonna let my husband work." This horrifies me. She is thirteen years old and all I want for her is to have a good education and to be able to grow up to support herself. That is one of the reasons I stayed home. Now I feel that somehow I have been a horrible example for my children. Not to mention the fact that I now have my youngest in Kindergarten and my days are so long. I am thirty six years old and I feel like I have almost reached a point where it is too late to establish a "career."

When I was in my twenties, I felt so sure that I was doing the right thing by quitting full time work to stay home with my children, but now that I have four children in school I am wondering if I have done the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:20am

you have a beautiful family,jeanne

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:23am

OK, I'm scratching my head over this:



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:42am
whatever.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:44am
My thirteen year old son once told me that he's going to marry an ambitious woman so he can play video games all day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:50am

A friend of mine recently told me that when she was about 11, she was quite shocked to realize that she'd be expected to get a job when she left education.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:51am

Hey, that's what my DH did ;)

Just kidding-- sort of.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 9:53am
Teach your kids to be decent, caring people. Introduce them to the big wide world around them and give them enough latitude and the tools to find and follow their own passions. Teach them about respect, responsibility, compassion, perserverence. Be happy and enthusiastic yourself. Encourage them to try new things on a regular basis and let them see you taking some risks yourself. Doesn't have to be in paid employment. Could be as simple as learning how to plant a flower garden or take piano lessons as an adult or setting a goal to run a marathon or learn to make power point presentations. Set high expectations about education, inside and outside the classroom. Expect something productive out of them every day, whether it's building a great castle out of blocks or baking a pie or sorting socks. Surround them with a variety of caring, positive, productive, upbeat people. They'll be fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 10:35am

My mother was a SAHM for most of my childhood years and I never wanted to be like her, LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 11:03am
Thanks!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 11:06am
My goodness - if every parent could read your post and live by it, what a world this would be!
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