OK This scares me......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
OK This scares me......
66
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:02pm

I have four kids. I worked full time for a year after my oldest was born and had horrible day care problems. My oldest daughter had constant ear infections, etc. etc. I quit after my son was born the following year and started working part time at night and then my husband stayed with the kids at night. After my third one was born, I quit my job and was a full time SAHM for 7 years. I started working part time again about two years ago and work maybe 15 hours a week.

This is what scares me. My oldest daughter was complaining about school to my FIL. Then he told her she needed to work hard at school to get a job when she is older. This is what she says in reply, "I'm not gonna have a job when I'm older. I'm gonna let my husband work." This horrifies me. She is thirteen years old and all I want for her is to have a good education and to be able to grow up to support herself. That is one of the reasons I stayed home. Now I feel that somehow I have been a horrible example for my children. Not to mention the fact that I now have my youngest in Kindergarten and my days are so long. I am thirty six years old and I feel like I have almost reached a point where it is too late to establish a "career."

When I was in my twenties, I felt so sure that I was doing the right thing by quitting full time work to stay home with my children, but now that I have four children in school I am wondering if I have done the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 1:33pm

If you stay at home are you sending the message to your children that it is a "man's job" to be the bread winner and a "woman's job" to stay home?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 1:40pm
Dont worry.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 1:41pm

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I've woh ft for the last 16 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 1:47pm
We can hope that our kids don' think that and I am sure most don't.
Jess


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 1:58pm

I am really not sure to tell you the truth. My mother always wanted to work, all through my childhood. My father refused to let her. It was not a "manhood" issue, it was that he was embarrassed about her profession (secretary) and convinced that if she worked he would have to pay more taxes (higher bracket). My relief may simply have been because she finally stood up for herself.

My father always made clear that we had to go to college, but other than that there was really no support offered by either of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:01pm
rofl...we're making progress - a few years ago,both dds said they wanted to grow up to be cowgirls.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:05pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:11pm

Ditto for mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:13pm
Why would that question come to mind at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:15pm

Never thunk it either.

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