OK This scares me......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
OK This scares me......
66
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:02pm

I have four kids. I worked full time for a year after my oldest was born and had horrible day care problems. My oldest daughter had constant ear infections, etc. etc. I quit after my son was born the following year and started working part time at night and then my husband stayed with the kids at night. After my third one was born, I quit my job and was a full time SAHM for 7 years. I started working part time again about two years ago and work maybe 15 hours a week.

This is what scares me. My oldest daughter was complaining about school to my FIL. Then he told her she needed to work hard at school to get a job when she is older. This is what she says in reply, "I'm not gonna have a job when I'm older. I'm gonna let my husband work." This horrifies me. She is thirteen years old and all I want for her is to have a good education and to be able to grow up to support herself. That is one of the reasons I stayed home. Now I feel that somehow I have been a horrible example for my children. Not to mention the fact that I now have my youngest in Kindergarten and my days are so long. I am thirty six years old and I feel like I have almost reached a point where it is too late to establish a "career."

When I was in my twenties, I felt so sure that I was doing the right thing by quitting full time work to stay home with my children, but now that I have four children in school I am wondering if I have done the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:16pm
I think it is a bit far fetched to say what some one else might or might not think. Mommy guilt is a strong thing.
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Jess


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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:17pm

I can't believe I'm alone in this but here goes.


Other than hoping that the things I do give Liza a healthy sense of humor, a true appreciation for the legacy of the American Musical Theater, a desire to be politically informed and involved, and a love of life and a sense of compassion I really have not given one thought toward what my life choices are 'modeling' for her other than that yes you really can have an entire week of meals that came pretty much from the microwave.


I just live my life. i get up and work, I come home and I do other stuff but I don't really think about whether I'm modelling Liza's future path frankly.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:26pm

My 5yo wants to work at Microsoft, and play video games all day.

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Ducky

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:28pm

Liza asked me very seriously one day if you can have more than one career. I said sure- have as many as you like. She said 'good cuz I want to be an actor AND a director"

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:29pm

Other than

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:32pm

lol


Reality bites.


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Ducky

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:33pm
I know...I mean call me selfish but it's MY life I'm living -- she can do what I've done or something completely differen t-- that will be HER life....
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:34pm
Interesting. I think about this daily. I have not just lived my life after having dd, but am beginning to a little bit now that she is so much bigger.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 2:38pm
honestly I'm just so focused on white knuckling it some days I dont' have the time nor the inclination to lsoe any sleep over what kind of life I'm modeling for Liza...she has a home, she eats, she has clothes and she does stuff .... good enough for the moment LOL
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:01pm

Mostly, I worry about modeling for my kids when I screw up.

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Ducky

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