OK This scares me......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
OK This scares me......
66
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:02pm

I have four kids. I worked full time for a year after my oldest was born and had horrible day care problems. My oldest daughter had constant ear infections, etc. etc. I quit after my son was born the following year and started working part time at night and then my husband stayed with the kids at night. After my third one was born, I quit my job and was a full time SAHM for 7 years. I started working part time again about two years ago and work maybe 15 hours a week.

This is what scares me. My oldest daughter was complaining about school to my FIL. Then he told her she needed to work hard at school to get a job when she is older. This is what she says in reply, "I'm not gonna have a job when I'm older. I'm gonna let my husband work." This horrifies me. She is thirteen years old and all I want for her is to have a good education and to be able to grow up to support herself. That is one of the reasons I stayed home. Now I feel that somehow I have been a horrible example for my children. Not to mention the fact that I now have my youngest in Kindergarten and my days are so long. I am thirty six years old and I feel like I have almost reached a point where it is too late to establish a "career."

When I was in my twenties, I felt so sure that I was doing the right thing by quitting full time work to stay home with my children, but now that I have four children in school I am wondering if I have done the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:36pm
yes,i do think kids naturally pick up on what one income can afford if there's a sahp....but what i think varies from indivdiual to individual is the definition of *enough* to afford sah.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:37pm

I'm with you. Who cares whether or not Joy works, sah, uses cloth diapers or disposibles (although I'm glad that she uses cloth. But then I love making diapers. :) Unfortunately Alex seems to like briefs. I haven't found a brief pattern but I have a boxer pattern that Dylan loves.), breastfeeds or uses formula, homeschools or sends her kids to public school. That's not what I modeled for Joy. What dh and I modeled was doing what was right for our kids at any given point in time. That education goes on until death, not until graduation. Work at what you love but also do what is needed for the family. Be an informed, voting citizen. And, above all, never takes anyone's word for anything without checking it out first.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:40pm

I am convinced that one of the most important things that a parent can do for their child is to apologize to them when they (the parents) are wrong or out of line.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:46pm
Yes, that too, of course, but mostly it is that I am always aware that there is another person there and that I have to "behave". I am rarely spontaneous if my child is around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:49pm
I think my kids have figured out that my job gives me the freedom to say "yes" to them a little more than I'd be able to if we didn't have my income. But I don't think they think it's because we wouldn't have enough money coming in if I didn't work. They know their Dad is a lot stricter about "stuff" and you'd have a harder time, or I'd have a harder time, persuading Dad to part with cold hard cash for "wants" than they have persuading me. I don't say "yes" all the time, but I do say "yes" more than their Dad does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:52pm

Someone said to me one time:


"The hardest words to utter in the human language are "I was wrong and you were right".


I cannot tell you over the years how many times I have uttered those words even when I was unsure I meant them.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 3:56pm
I've said this to liza more times than I can count LOL
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 4:05pm

So true.

chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 4:11pm

Oh, I do.

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 4:23pm
ita.

 

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