Ok, so about these dang teenagers. (m)
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|Tue, 06-10-2003 - 10:50pm|
As part of my job, we meet weekly to discuss clients. Their issues, concerns and addictions. It was brought to my attention that a majority of opiate use begins in the teen years. Why? Parents not asking enough questions. WHO are you with? WHERE will you be? WHEN will you be home? It was kind of an eye-opener for myself, as I have a 13 year old who has just now begun being "out there", so to speak. Yes, I know where she is at all times, but it is enough? We've all seen the PSA's on how to talk to your kids. I find them (on a personal level) somewhat condescending. Like, duh, I feed them AND I have to talk to them? But...I'm sure they do the job. I also was a little disappointed with the DARE program. I found it to be a little 'sappy'.
I have found, since I began working full time, that I have more time to talk to them. While throwing together Hamburger Helper (I'm joking) or picking up the house, or running to practice. I am also brutally honest in regards to the consequences if they choose to use. The drug choice for our are is Oxycondon, injected via needle.
After posting here for two years, I've come to acknoweldge that parents have some very valid reason for not trusting DC. I can respect that. But the fact is, there is really never a perfect time. The worries don't end with school, at least IMO, they begin.
Our situation is as perfect as it could ever be. The kids are unsupervised from 2:30-3:30. (My oldest dd babysits) I am home at 4:15. Not that I have my head up my posterior and think no problems can happen in that hour, but I know she is at home. I also give out tons of responsibility to all three of them. Idle hands, and all.
The question I have for you, is does working status REALLY affect the relationship you have with your child? I'm not militant anything, I have been a SAHM, and a WOHM/PT and now a WOHM/FT. Through all these venues, the relationship has remained rock solid. Is it because I was home? Or in spite of me being home?
I often joke with a friend of mine, that I was not meant to mother babies. G-D should have just given to me at the age of about 8 or so. I didn't hate it, I just think they are so much darn fun now. Toddler years, in the grand scheme of things, didn't mean much to me. Oh, they were important, and I wouldn't mind going back. However, they only thing they remember from those days are "please" and "thank you". The rest has been formed through experience, talking and screwing up on occasion. But I do find it ironic that on this board, we focus so much on DC's and nannys, etc., raising the kids. Why do we forget the teenage years? It's like a magic wand is waved, and *poof* 12 and up isn't so important anymore.
So, in a nutshell, and to put an end to this rambling, does your work status effect the relationship you have with your child? Does it affect your worry? I know I couldn't be effective at work if I was stressing over what my teenager was up to. What are your plans for your teens? Will you quit your job? Cut back? Or, like me, despite working status, just make sure your nose is in ALL their business?