Opt out or left out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Opt out or left out?
430
Mon, 05-13-2013 - 3:31pm

This article says that most SAH moms do so, because they can't afford to work (i.e. couldn't make enough to cover their childcare costs).  Or that their husband's income is in the top 5% of earners in the US.  So SAHMs are at the two extreme ends of income.  This seems to me to be pretty much what we've found through discussions on this board.  Do you think that there should be programs in place to make it easier for SAHMs in the lower income brackets to go back to work?  How could this be accomplished?

http://www.nbcnews.com/business/opt-out-or-left-out-economics-stay-home-moms-1C9881635

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 10:55am

Except there is an issue. Very low income women often SAH, and many of them would like to work.  Wouldn't it be nice to make it possible for women who want to work be able to?  Some kind of subsidized child care that would make it possible for these women to work or go to school?  Are there any other programs that would make it easier for low income women to work outside the home, if they want to?  My household income isn't an issue here. 

Who would pay for these programs? The taxpayers for sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 10:57am

jamblessedthree wrote:
I'd hope that an 18 yo child that gets pg is not only getting all the state support she can but also all the support from family too! Your employer has nothing to do with that.

The income guidelines for most state and federal programs are really quite low, and not everyone has family who can help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 10:59am
pringfever2013 wrote:
The only answer I have is to get yourself a good job BEFORE you have kids if you need 2 incomes. It is too late once you get pregnant and that is how the planning comes into place.

Ah, the let them eat cake response.  And that worked so well for Marie Antoinette.

In 2013, there are WAY too many options for a woman NOT to get pregnant before she can afford to. Yes, things happen but planning always outweighs getting stuck in a situation. If you are just getting by BEFORE you have kids, then you should know that you are going to have a VERY difficult job taking care of yourself AND a child. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:00am

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Throughout history, many people have depended on extended family to help them out, and then they help out others when they are more financially stable. It is not the way I would choose to do it, but I am not going to get all judgmental because these people get help from relatives. It's not costing me a dime, and so it's really nine of my business. If the extended family didn't want to help out, there's no jaw saying they have to.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:small"><strong><span style="text-align:left">Sometimes family feel obligated to help and they really shouldn't. I understand things that happen and family and friends helping but decisions like these are ones that COULD have been avoided and put off until they were financially stable enough. Lack of planning and researching is all this is. </span></strong></span></p>

It's a double edged sword IMO.  Dh's sister got pg back to back three times starting at 18, MIL called it "tough love" by removing herself from the her daughter and the situation but that's really come back to bite her now.  There's no evidence that if she would have "reached out" to her daughter then things would be different but some families waste too much time pondering the what ifs, placing conditions on their love etc.  I will NEVER understand that and for the life of me I will never understand how family can turn their back on a child (esp in critical times). 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:01am
jamblessedthree wrote:
I'd hope that an 18 yo child that gets pg is not only getting all the state support she can but also all the support from family too! Your employer has nothing to do with that.

The income guidelines for most state and federal programs are really quite low, and not everyone has family who can help.

So you find nothing wrong with tax payers paying for someone who didn't take precautions from getting pregnant when they fully knew they could not afford to do so?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:02am

jamblessedthree wrote:
I'd be 100% on board if the federal government mandated preschool. Isn't Obama and the department of ed exploring that? My kids went to a church based preschool and they did have sliding scales for those that needed it, And yes there's headstart. There are poor private school families too bord.

Our county school system has a PreK program, that while not mandated, is well attended.  It is really difficult for many working parents to participate though, because it is only a 4 day a week program and ends at 2:30 each day.  They do run some classes through local daycare providers (with a county lead teacher), but that option costs as much as regular daycare.  And the income guidelines for head start are pretty low as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:03am

You can't tell poor people they shouldn't go to school either, Yay for those who get that free help! 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:03am

I read the article and am not surprised by the conclusion for the same reasons.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:04am

springfever2013 wrote:
Who would pay for these programs? The taxpayers for sure.

Yes and/or employers.  I think it's a very good use of taxpayer dollars-- and probably would actually be a net gain, if employment would allow these families to rely less on other social programs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 11:04am

I will never understand how family can turn their back on a child (esp in critical times). 

ITA with you Jam. Your key word is CRITICAL. But there are things that just should not happen and would not have happened if they use precautions. My MIL had 3 kids by the time she was 21. She should have stopped at the first one with her financial situation. The children suffered because of it. 

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