Opt out or left out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Opt out or left out?
430
Mon, 05-13-2013 - 3:31pm

This article says that most SAH moms do so, because they can't afford to work (i.e. couldn't make enough to cover their childcare costs).  Or that their husband's income is in the top 5% of earners in the US.  So SAHMs are at the two extreme ends of income.  This seems to me to be pretty much what we've found through discussions on this board.  Do you think that there should be programs in place to make it easier for SAHMs in the lower income brackets to go back to work?  How could this be accomplished?

http://www.nbcnews.com/business/opt-out-or-left-out-economics-stay-home-moms-1C9881635

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:45am

Spring, if that's all you took out of that article, then you're missing the point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:45am

Throughout history, many people have depended on extended family to help them out, and then they help out others when they are more financially stable. It is not the way I would choose to do it, but I am not going to get all judgmental because these people get help from relatives. It's not costing me a dime, and so it's really nine of my business. If the extended family didn't want to help out, there's no jaw saying they have to.

Sometimes family feel obligated to help and they really shouldn't. I understand things that happen and family and friends helping but decisions like these are ones that COULD have been avoided and put off until they were financially stable enough. Lack of planning and researching is all this is. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:41am
Throughout history, many people have depended on extended family to help them out, and then they help out others when they are more financially stable. It is not the way I would choose to do it, but I am not going to get all judgmental because these people get help from relatives. It's not costing me a dime, and so it's really nine of my business. If the extended family didn't want to help out, there's no jaw saying they have to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:31am

Willix’s parents help the young family out with food costs and provided financial backing for a home they are building. Meanwhile, an aunt is letting them rent a house she owns at a very low rate.

I was going by this, above. Why should they be helping? They couldn't figure out before having kids how much daycare would cost and that it would not be a good idea to have a 2nd child? This is something that CAN be researched BEFORE getting pregnant, not after when you figure out that your $9.50/hour job will not cover the bills. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:17am

springfever2013 wrote:
The parents made those children, no one else. THEY should be the ones responsible for them. While BC is not 100% effective, I truly think most times it is not used or not used properly and THAT is why pregnancy happens.

I don't think that neither anyone here nor the article is trying to alleviate responsbility of parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:15am

Not all babies are born according to plan or under ideal circumstances. Would-have, should-have, and could-have doesn't really do them any good, does it?

The parents made those children, no one else. THEY should be the ones responsible for them. While BC is not 100% effective, I truly think most times it is not used or not used properly and THAT is why pregnancy happens. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 8:46am

springfever2013 wrote:
<p>I read the article and IMO, you need to have a better plan in life when having children. I understand that not everyone is a planner but there are many ways to avoid pregnancy so you can make sure that either your dh makes enough money to support the family or that you can afford daycare on the mother's salary. This woman has to rely on her family for support and that is just not right, IMO. THEY did not decide to have another child, the couple did and maybe for awhile, the dh will have to work 2 jobs until they get themselves on their feet and the kids are in school for her to go back to work. The kids suffer in this situation as the older child is not able to go to preschool anymore. </p>

Not all babies are born according to plan or under ideal circumstances. Would-have, should-have, and could-have doesn't really do them any good, does it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 8:44am

People work around low wages all of the time by using family members as cheap caregivers or working opposite shifts from the other parent. The biggest issue with that is that most low-skilled jobs do not offer consistent scheduling, so working around a potential caregiver's schedule becomes impossible. 

When I hired into a WOH job a few years ago, I explained during the interview that I was available for the earliest shift only. The interviewer countered by asking if I'd be willing to work the occasional later shift. She made it out like occasionally meant once or twice a month. That sounded reasonable, so I agreed. By the time I left, I was working the later shift four out of five evenings, which meant that I had to constantly find child caregivers who were not only able and willing to watch my kids based on the last-minute nature of the scheduling, but who were also willing to pick my children up from school and feed them dinner. That wasn't too much to ask my mother or a beloved aunt to do occasionally, if occasionally didn't mean 80% of the time. 

The choice was to keep a job or not keep a job. 

I think it's a complicated issue because outside of comprehensive social programs or enacting a living wage, you can't really mandate compassionate workplaces.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 05-13-2013 - 10:22pm
I don't think Not going to preschool is a huge life handicap if the mother is able to provide an adequate learning environment for her kids. But I wonder whether the family might qualify for head start or get a scholarship at a church-based preschool if she really sands to send the kids to preschool.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 05-13-2013 - 3:54pm

I read the article and IMO, you need to have a better plan in life when having children. I understand that not everyone is a planner but there are many ways to avoid pregnancy so you can make sure that either your dh makes enough money to support the family or that you can afford daycare on the mother's salary. This woman has to rely on her family for support and that is just not right, IMO. THEY did not decide to have another child, the couple did and maybe for awhile, the dh will have to work 2 jobs until they get themselves on their feet and the kids are in school for her to go back to work. The kids suffer in this situation as the older child is not able to go to preschool anymore. 

Pages