Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:43pm

That's possible. I think it is basically because I want my children to excel and do the best they can, like most other parents. I just let the school do what they need to, to educate my daughter as they are more aware of what needs to be taught for a good education. I have never had a problem with the teachers not telling me if my daughter needed extra help or extra work because she is ahead of the class (this is mostly because she goes very fast and finishes before everyone-not good all the time-lol!).
I think good communication with the teachers and if it has to be done, the principal. I think if the school is good enough, there will be enough resources to help the child.

Maybe sometimes the standards of people are too high and I think that affects the child also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:45pm
dont most parents yearly reevaluate their childrens school to make sure the school is still meeting the kids needs and the kids are still doing well there and are happy there. most people i know do. of course maybe it is so common here because we have open enrollment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:47pm
If a school is offering many resources, why would they have to move them out of it? I guess I just do not understand this as my daughter has been going to the same elementary school for 5 years and if I ever had a problem, I have spoken to the teacher about it. All of her teachers have been really good and were interested in helping the most they could.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:50pm
I personally have never heard of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:53pm

You probably have a child that learns well in a traditional setting. So do I; dd is like that. It doesn't take much work to keep her in a good way. I can rely much more on the school alone with her.

Ds? No. He's an odd duck. He's adanced in math, but slightly behind in reading/writing skills. He's not a particularly social kid and doesn't enjoy group participation. He also has an innate need to be moving while working and learning. He is not a natural fit for a traditional classroom. For this reason, we've explored other options, but have been able to make things work for him in the traditional public school. But it has taken much evaluation on our part and much communication with the teachers and principals to make it work. We very possibly would have moved him if there had been better non-traditional schools here. There are very few alternatives (partially because the public system IS so good) to choose from and none seemed more capable of solving the issue than the public school.

However, had we still been in AZ where dd went to K and 1, he would not have been in the traditional public school. Dd went to, and ds would have too, to a charter school that had completely different curricula, learning styles and atmospheres than the traditional public. It was an atmosphere and style that I think would have suited ds well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:54pm
Open enrollment is very common. We dont' have it here officially, but it takes very very little to move your school between school within the district. And it only takes slight more to make inter-district transfers (we have a lot of kids from the town 15 miles south in our city schools).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:54pm

My youngest ds is doing well in school, on regular tests, state tests and is on level where he should be; I don't doubt that the teacher his teacher is doing her job. Socially, after a few rocky years, my 7yo ds is on target.

But the school is nowhere near to meeting his true academic needs. BTW - He's not gifted, he's just different and he does not qualify for sped. So my choice is to find another school, or ignore what I find lacking(I guess), or supplement his education with a partial homeschool curriculum. So far, we're trying for the latter because he's making so many strides socially and I've got a great mentor for homeschool supplementals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:56pm
i cant imagine just sending my kids to school every year without evaluating where the school and the kids are and how they are meeting the needs of my kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:59pm
My dd has ADHD and it has been rough these past years and I am very lucky she has had some great teachers to help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 9:00pm
we live almost right on the border of two counties. it is actually closer for my kids to go to the school that is not in our county but it is not as good a school, imo. i do know we have several kids from the district coming to our schools. the only catch is the parents have to provide transportation. our school has an outstanding special education program and we get kids from several counties coming to our school for that program.

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