Parents and school involvement
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| Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am |
My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.
It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.
She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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Not here, not most parents anyway. Most just send their kids to the local school. Some of our friends think we're nuts for driving our kids 17 miles to a charter school.
Even with my kids in a charter, I don't exactly reevaluate my choice each year. IMO, social issues trump academic. My kids have a great set of peers at the charter school. We won't be leaving any time soon as it would take a major academic issue I could resolve no other way to precipitate another move.
That's great. But I was talking about your role as homeschooling parent. If you're not speaking with the parents of traditionally schooled children, how do you know what is going on in the traditional schools?
Obviously, you must have a source for the curriculum in the traditional schools if only for comparison purposes. And I'd imagine you'd be curious how your tax dollars are being spent in the primary schools as well.
You know, I think ST. Louis is one of the few places I could move without my dad going ballistic. lol
My options in AZ were greater; charter schools are very common there. My options here are much more limited. Which is okay, because the public system really is very good, and, so far, I haven't had a big enough issue to want my kids out of the system. ACtually I think the move to the new ES this year has been great for Callahan. I can't pinpoint why. It may be the teacher, it may be his fellow students, or it may be just that he's matured so much in the last year. Whatever it is, 2nd grade is great ... first grade sucked.
Do some homework. Start with research on retention. You'll find that neither retention or double promotion are recommended UNLESS socially supported.
I would never allow a child who fit socially in one grade to be moved to another for academic reasons. I just had my younger dd moved up a grade to keep her with the social group she identifies with.
Children need to idenify with a social group. Too much movement between groups can result in children not being accepted by the social group. That is far more hazardous to their development than hiring a tutor.
We attempted to work around the academic issues at our dd's old school for two years before making the decision to move them and now go to great lengths to keep them in contact with their old social group while they gain footing in a new social group. We simply could not work around the issues and it was apparent things would get worse. If there had been a work around, I would have stayed but there just wasn't. We had a curriculum mismatch on our hands and dd#1 had to get out of there even though the social implications were very negative.
At this point, I would not consider another move. Even if this school adopted the same program as the last that sent us running (Everday Mathematics for inquiring minds). Dd is 12 now and knowing what the research says and how bad the move was when she was 9, it ain't happening. Well, not voluntarily My state has launched an attack on K-8 charters and is trying to cut their funding and force them to close. I can't for the life of me figure what's wrong with K-8 that they'd do this. If the school closes, obviously, we'll do what we have to but even then, I'd try go get my girls into a district where some of their friends are going.
Perhaps if you had explained yourself beyond the statement "social issues trump academic ones" I wouldn't have questioned you. At face value that statement implies nothing more than social issues are the most important aspect of a child's school experience.
All that being said, research or no, academics needs to be the most important consideration in my child's education. If they are putting such high value on friendships, I'd have to question why and I'd have to question their ability to adapt. Putting friendships ahead of acheiving academically shouldn't be the natural order of things,imo.
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