Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 1:22pm
That is them then. Don't put me in that league with them when I am here to debate and if I debate more with one or two people, it does not mean I dislike them. You are putting words in my mouth.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 1:56pm

I wish I'd concentrated more on social relationships in high school and less on academics. Being more socially comfortable young is a much better predictor of future success than mere academics in my world."

Totally agree. As you get higher up the ladder, educational background is an initial bar or "cost of entry" but I've never met a BOD's to pick (or even care about) the CEO with the best GMAT scores, or the best grades, over the other smart, superb communicator, but less credentialed candidate.

Personally I concentrated a bit too much on social relationships in high school, and was able to still get A's and the occasional B without much effort. I kind wish I'd put more effort into academics in high school and college but -- then not really;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 3:13pm
Well, someone (PKA?) posted that she's in her kid's school "daily."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 3:50pm
I am not putting words in your mouth.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 3:55pm
In that small sliver of a scenario, you could be in their school daily if you had them in the before/after school program you would be in their school daily by either taking them there or doing the pick up.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:23pm

I guess it depends on what you mean by "less than ideal." When my son was in first grade, he had a teacher who was truly awful, and it colored his experience of education for a long time. By truly awful, I mean I learned that she was on probation and was going to be fired at the end of the academic year and the principal was trying to expedite the process to get her out mid-year, but it didn't work. It was my son's only first grade year, and it was a train wreck. I wish I had moved him when I first suspected that there were awful things going on in his class, and not waited until things got truly terrible.

In the "real world," I would not put up with an abusive boss. I would take measures to have at least one of us out of the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:24pm
My kids have not "liked" teachers who they later end up admitting were very good teachers. I think that's a lot different from a truly awful situation, where not only is it a very good idea to get your kid out of there, it is abusive to leave them in it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:31pm

Um, I'm not moving my kids from school to school. We made one move that was really necessary given the nature of both of my girl's problems in the old district and I go to great lenghts to keep my kids in with thier old friends while they make new friends.

Dd#2 made the switch in short order. Dd#1 still struggles a bit but there was no work around and no social support for her issues in our old school. When what you are doing isn't working, you try something new.

One of the reasons we went charter is that no matter where we live, my kids can still go there.

BTW, too many moves is determental to children. This is one of the reasons divorce is bad for kids. They usually get uprooted. I'm not sure what age it's no longer workable to move a child but I know the older they are the worse it is. I won't move my kids again (as long as the state doesn't cut funding and our school closes) but I won't have to. The teachers in our charter are willing to work with any and all issues a child has.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:36pm
A lot depends on where the child finds their peers. For example, a child who comse from a big extended family who has peers who are cousins their age would be affected differently than the only child of an only child who had no family peer structure. You have to look at how a move affects a child's peers. This is why we tried to work with the school regarding dd's issues for two years. Once her peers started teasing her about her issues, there was no reason to stay. She would face peer disruption either way. So we salvaged what we could of her existing friendships and found a school that fit her better. The hope was she'd have lots of company and she does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 09-08-2007 - 5:37pm

You must be kidding.

Please, please tell me you are kidding.

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