Parents and school involvement
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| Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am |
My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.
It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.
She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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There are 15-17 kids in my children's class, its a small school, 2 classes per grade, except for my youngest with 3 classes per grade (mini baby boom). They may think I'm a pita, but I've gotten to know each teacher pretty well and they seemed to appreciate my interest and the fact that I work to support their educational objectives in partnership with them. I have scheduled meetings with all their teachers this week to understand the plans for this year, what they expect, what my children's strengths and weaknesses are, and how I can help. Each meeting is during the school day during their free period, so its not really an inconvenience for the teachers, though I'm probably cutting in to lesson plan time. Shrug, they could say no.
I don't know what all the other parents do, though I know several of my peers are very proactive in much the same way. Two or three 15-30 minute conversations and 3 or 4 emails a quarter seems pretty reasonable to me. It's the manager in me, I guess, I approach it in much the same way I work my projects, frequent interum status reports so we meet our objectives on time and under budget.
If the teacher needs to contact me, they will be a letter or a call. I don't think to bug them all the time to see how my child is doing. I can tell by homework being done correctly, good grades, weekly reports of how well my child has learned the work that week.
I have always had communication with all her teachers. I just didn't feel the need to have to have conferences all the time.
Why not? As I've said, I'm a manager and I bring the same approach to my children's education. I want to know the plan, in an initial consultation, adjust the plan if needed, and I want periodic updates that they are (or they're not) on plan. IME, the teacher will only call when things are seriously bad, why would I wait that long?
I don't bug them all the time, though I do contact them in person and by email periodically. I think some of the homework is merely busywork and I let them know that. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm not sure which, my children's grades are usually high, but I don't think it's always indicative of their educational performance. I do think I occasionally challenge the teachers think differently, because IME, most questions are good. Almost all my children's teachers are very experienced, and though I appreciate their expertise, it does bring complacency some times. I want to partner with my children's teachers, and for the most part, they are open to that partnership.
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