Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 9:06pm
That's not her problem - she's unbelievably advanced and her vocab is more advanced than mine, she's got all mine plus IM speak ;-). I was an instructor of college freshman English, you're preaching to the choir here, but spelling by rote is not the way to go, imo. There is no Latin, Greek work derivations, if it were so; I’d be more than on board with that. It' is just a list of words to memorize. Gone shortly after the test.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 9:23pm

Yep - I'm pretty in tune for my children's developmental needs, though they may be perfectly appropriate for the majority of the children in my public school community. My children have special needs for various reasons, though the reasons are not academic for the most part. I could ignore and hope for the best, or I could work with their willing teachers to partner with them and adjust their curriculum to fit what I perceive to be their needs.

I won't be apologetic to being a vocal advocate for my children. I will supplement a curriculum when I think it's necessary, I will criticize a lesson plan that I think foolish, I will work with the school committee and teachers to change direction if I think it's necessary. I am vocal, active, and a general pita, but most of them really like me (in a Sally Field Oscar acceptance speech kind of way).

Edited to add: I will always defer to professionals, unless they prove themselves unworthy.




Edited 9/9/2007 10:23 pm ET by currieri
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 9:55pm

So then I'm curious, what are you basing your comments on and what did you totally agree with?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:05pm

I agree with this.

I live in an open enrollment area and people choose different schools for a wide variety of reasons. My district offers a high school IB program which attracts students from out of district. There are also 18 AP courses available (out of a total of 37.) A person may choose to go to a school that offered a different slate of AP courses, or more courses than their local high school. Some parents choose a different school based on the languages offered. My high school has a very strong Chinese language program and people come from outside the district for that. We don't have Latin so people who feel strongly about Latin might choose to send their children to a school that offers it.

I know of families that send their children to a local Catholic high school for the express reason that they want their children to have a chance to play team sports. Team sports are highly competitive in our suburban area and it can be very difficult for a student athlete to find a spot on a public high school team if he or she is not of the very highest caliber player. Some people feel strongly enough about it that they will send their children to a school that is one fifth the size so their children can participate in high school sports. It doesn't mean the public high school is bad. In fact, it means the public high school is too "good," if you will.

I also know a family that won't send their kids to a local very excellent public school (ranked #1 in our state) because the social environment is too cut-throat for their kids. The school has such a strong reputation for excellence, the students come from such a position of privilege, that anyone who is merely a strong student but not perfect is made to be considered a failure. (Having an A minus GPA ranks you at the middle of your class.) There is really no opportunity to "just be a kid" at that kind of school. Some people know that their kids just aren't cut out to survive such a pressure cooker situation.

One other reason people switch schools is that different school districts offer different programming. My school district just started a new Spanish immersion and Chinese immersion program at local neighborhood schools. Many people outside the district who don't live too far away are very interested and have enrolled their children. Each school district is trying to find ways to retain their families and attract new students. It doesn't mean that the public schools are bad, just that they are different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:30pm
we have only been in school for 4 days and i have talked to my dd's teacher at least 3 times. i guess i am amazed that people dont talk to their kids teachers. i sitll talk to the teachers my dd has had in k-2nd grade at least once a week. not every contact is about how is my child doing, some are as mundane as how was your weekend. but then i also talk to teachers my child has never had as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:40pm
isnt that weird. my kids would never be in a school where the principals or teachers felt that way. our principal is out in the front of the school each morning greeting kids and parents, both are consistently out front after school telling the kdis good bye and waving good bye to the busses as they pull away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:40pm

I'm a bit lost here.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:45pm
too bad your school administration doesnt feel the need or desire to form relationships with the parents - that is what is a shame. since most of the time the principal comes up to me i really doubt she see it as harrassing her. of course having the respsonsibility of working with the principal and teachers regarding what activites and programs they want to have brought into the school via the PTO puts me in very close contact with all of them. our school adminsitration from the superintendent down to the janitors understand the importance of keeping to touch with the parents. of course most of us are friends outside of school so it really isnt an issue.
we have that letter from our principal as well as one from our super but when you are really involved in the daily going ons at a school you come to realize just how much is and is not included in those letters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:48pm

wow.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 09-09-2007 - 10:55pm

Who is the she?

PumpkinAngel

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