Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:22am

I've been to back to school night and I find it ineffective for the type of relationship I establish with my children's teachers. Shrug.

So you're the only one who gets to selectly answer questions? Maybe I'm slow, but I've found that each teacher brings something different to the table with style as well as substance. I want to hear how the teacher intends to implement a particular plan. I want to work with them to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of my children in school. I do participate in council and pta meetings and funnily enough, the parents there seem to be the same ones who remain actively engaged like myself.

If you and pnj are satisfied to let the teachers do their job, go for it. I plan to partner with my children's teachers and be actively engaged in educating my children. I have no idea why that would be controversial. Its just a different style of parenting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:25am
Amen! Same here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:30am

You are right, I did not answer. I have a reason for not answering. Frankly, the two of you don't deserve an answer to that question. I doubt that Hazel would appreciate what I've learned about education and the purpose of education. I doubt she would be interested in Rousseau, Heidegger, and Dewey, cognitive revolution and how educational philosophies differ. I've spent years looking into the topic and don't really feel that the two of you have the necessary background to handle a conversation about what constitutes an appropriate education, or at least the kind of education I hope for for my kids, and how to determine if that education is being successfully executed. You've already stated your love of grades and standardized tests and all things SAT. You dismiss the notion that very bright students have special needs. Knowing your penchant for those means any conversation I'd have about education with you would be fraught with me trying to explain to you that the acquisition of knowledge and the regurgitation of it and the whole framework of keeping score is not what everyone is looking for in education.

Having said that, I will say my short answer is I can tell my children are getting educated by the questions they ask and their curiosity of the world around them, how excited they are to learn and think creatively, how well they are getting to know themselves and their emotions and the ease with which they can apply higher order thinking skills (think critically.) But the truth is, I can't really know if they've learned that at school or somewhere else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:35am
wow, you know people who have done that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:41am
do you ever discuss anything you have a clue about - the letters from the principal are great and full of information. but no matter what they include unless you are in the school if not dialy than often you are not going to know everything that is going on. and no, i am hardly the only informed parent in our school, we have a wonderful group of volunteers and parents who understand the importance of working in and with the school. actually i am in the school at least a couple of times a week for pta business, i am in the school a couple of days as a volunteer in the classroom and then as needed for work in the workroom. and yes, i am a sahm who does have the time and the desire to help in the school but i have been a paid empoyee of the school in the past.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:42am

<>

But Hazeleyes deserves an attempt by you at an insult?

And when she asked you to explain, you refused until I got involved today?

Got it.

Did you actually use the term "don't deserve an answer?" Yikes. I always wonder how some adults function in society.

As for the rest of your post, yes, I don't care to hear about your view of education since DH and I kind of came out of it all okay. We'll probably just stick with our current methods which do not involve living in inferior school districts and then constantly complaining about how the system is failing children. I'm sorry if that's not alright with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:49am

<< living in inferior school districts and then constantly complaining about how the system is failing children>>

Who has done this? Certainly no one on this thread.




Edited 9/10/2007 11:49 am ET by i.love.the.80s
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:50am
i dont know. it would appear from this board that there are parents who dont want to have as much contact with taechers as others so it probably evens out. last friday i was working in the workroom and my dd teacher came in to make some copies, her class was in gym, she started talking to me about the new reading program they are using this year. i didnt approach her other than to say hi. i also talked to about 6 other teachers that morning while i was there. i guess i just dont see where teachers are seeing this as a hardship or imposition on their time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:53am
well, i see ours making the rounds every day before and after school, so she must think it is important or i would assume she wouldnt do it. talking to a parent can be a easy as a hi, how was your weekend or hope to see you at the open house? no one has said a conversation is an indepth talk about school policy every time there is a conversation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 12:00pm
wow, in this day and age i wouldnt think any school would allow anyone to roam the halls freely or pop into classrooms - but then i dont think anyone has said they do that. why do you consistently just make things up? but we are allowed to pop in for lunch with our kids if we want to - that means pop by the school, you still have to sign in and state where you are going to be in the building. kids in our school love having their parents come for lunch, it is fun and a great way to connect with the kids in your childs class.

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